Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to greet elders in a casual manner, such as with a quick nod, a rushed ‘hi’, or by mumbling ‘salaam’ without making eye contact. Although this is rarely intended as disrespect, it can feel dismissive to an older person who values traditional manners. The goal is to correct this behaviour gently, teaching the importance of sincerity without making the child feel criticised or ashamed. 

Intervene Kindly in the Moment 

If the situation permits, you can softly remind your child with a quiet prompt like, ‘Let’s say Assalamu Alaikum properly, with a nice smile.’ Using a gentle and supportive tone ensures the correction feels helpful rather than like a scolding. This approach allows them to adjust their behaviour immediately without feeling embarrassed. 

Practise the Proper Method at Home 

Role-playing is a highly effective tool. At home, you can demonstrate how to stand, smile, and speak clearly when offering a greeting. Follow this with positive reinforcement, such as, ‘That sounded so clear and respectful, well done.’ Consistent practice in a safe space makes it much easier for a child to offer a confident greeting in public. 

Highlight the Emotional Impact of Respect 

Explain to your child how a proper greeting affects the person receiving it. You could say, ‘When you say salaam to Grandma so warmly, it makes her feel truly honoured and happy.’ Connecting the behaviour to its positive emotional impact helps a child understand that good manners are not empty rituals but a meaningful way of showing care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a strong emphasis on greetings as a means to spread peace and honour others, cautioning against them being rushed or careless. 

A Blessed Greeting from Allah 

The Quran presents the act of greeting as a blessed instruction from Allah, one that should be delivered with the intention of spreading goodness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 61: 

‘…But when you enter the houses, then say Salaam in your greeting, pertaining to Allah (Almighty) for your own benefit, which is Blessed and a source of purification; in this way (Allah) Almighty has clarified for you the benchmarks (of modest behaviour); so that you may understand (the rationale of the truth).’ 

This reminds us that a greeting is a form of worship that should be offered with sincerity, not casualness. 

The Etiquette of Honouring Elders 

Prophetic teachings establish a clear etiquette for greetings that is built upon respect, with a special emphasis on the honour due to elders. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2160, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who is younger should greet the one who is older, the passerby should greet the one who is sitting, and the small group should greet the larger group.’ 

By teaching your child to offer greetings with sincerity, you are connecting them to the heart of Islamic adab and the beautiful example of the Prophet ﷺ. Over time, they will learn that a proper sala-am not just a polite gesture but an act of faith that spreads peace, respect, and blessings.