Parenting Perspective 

Use Simple, Practical Comparisons 

The complaint ‘That’s not fair!’ is common among siblings. The best way to guide them is to explain that fairness is about giving each person what they need, not about giving everyone the exact same thing. Use simple and practical examples they can understand: ‘Your younger brother needs to go to bed earlier because his growing body needs more sleep,’ or ‘You both received new shoes, but they are different sizes to fit your different feet.’ This helps children see fairness as equity, not equality. 

Reinforce Fairness Through Daily Practice 

When a situation arises where treatment is not identical, explain your reasoning calmly: ‘I am helping your sister with this part of her homework because it is new to her, just like I helped you when you were her age.’ This shows that the principle of support is consistent, even if the application varies. Praise your child when they show understanding, as this reinforces the idea that fairness is about thoughtful balance, not perfect sameness. 

Fairness is Thoughtful Parenting 

This approach builds trust, helping your children see that different treatment does not mean favouritism, but is a form of thoughtful and responsive parenting tailored to each child’s unique journey. This builds both moral clarity and emotional resilience. 

Spiritual Insight 

Justice is a Divine Command 

Islam defines justice not as treating everyone the same, but as giving each person their due according to their individual situation. The Quran commands believers to uphold this principle of justice and good conduct in all their dealings. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

Be Just with Your Children 

The prophetic tradition gives a direct and clear command to parents to be just and fair in their treatment of their children. This establishes fairness within the family not merely as good practice, but as a sacred duty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 1623, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

Justice with Wisdom and Mercy 

When you explain fairness using this framework, your children learn that equality and sameness are not the same thing. They begin to appreciate that true justice comes from meeting each person’s unique needs with care and mercy, just as Allah deals with His creation with perfect wisdom.