Parenting Perspective 

When cousins stay overnight, the relaxed and familiar atmosphere can often lead children to loosen their usual rules of dress and privacy. However, teaching them about awrah boundaries from an early age is essential for their dignity, safety, and long-term confidence. The challenge is to explain this important concept without making the child feel shamed, awkward, or embarrassed. 

Normalise Modesty as a Family Value 

Present the protection of awrah as a standard household value, not as a correction of a personal flaw. You can say calmly, ‘In our family, we have a rule about covering ourselves properly when others are around, even our cousins. It is part of our family’s way of showing respect and having good manners’. This approach makes it about shared values, not individual mistakes. 

Provide Specific and Practical Guidance 

Avoid vague warnings that can create confusion or shame. Instead, provide clear and practical expectations with age-appropriate instructions: 

• Sleepwear in our home must cover from the shoulders to at least the knees. 

• We always knock and wait before entering bedrooms or bathrooms. 

• Changing our clothes is done in a private space, not in front of our cousins. 

This clarity helps children feel confident in following the rules. 

Lead by Example 

Children, and their visiting cousins, will learn far more from your actions than from your lectures. You can lead by example by ensuring you have a robe nearby for quick coverage or by always knocking before entering a closed door. When children see the adults modelling this behaviour naturally, they absorb it as part of the normal household culture. 

Frame the Rules in a Positive Light 

Instead of using negative phrasing like, ‘Do not do that’, try to use encouraging and positive language. You could say, ‘We show respect for ourselves by covering properly’, or, ‘Your room is your own private place, and it is important to protect it’. This helps to build their confidence and self-respect rather than making them feel embarrassed. 

By making the rules around awrah a routine, respectful, and consistent part of your home life, you help your children and their guests to practise modesty naturally and confidently, even during fun and relaxed overnight stays. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places haya (modesty and self-respect) at the very heart of a believer’s faith. The boundaries of awrah are a practical safeguard for both our dignity and our spirituality. Teaching these concepts to children with gentleness and wisdom is a reflection of the prophetic way. 

The Quranic Basis for Privacy 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verse 58: 

‘ Those of you who are believers, on three occasions (of the day), let those women that are legally bound to you (female servants), and those who have not attained the age of puberty amongst you, seek your permission (before intruding on your privacy); (firstly, at any time) before the Fajr (dawn) prayer; (secondly, at the time) when you put aside your garments, at noon (for a siesta); (thirdly, at any time) after Isha (night) prayer…’ 

This verse shows that respecting privacy and modesty, even among children within the same household, is a direct instruction from Allah Almighty, underscoring its importance in a Muslim family. 

The Importance of Early Habit Formation 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 495, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and discipline them for it when they are ten years old, and separate them in their beds.’ 

This Hadith teaches us a crucial principle of parenting: important Islamic habits, such as prayer and modesty (like separate beds), should be introduced and nurtured from a young age so that children grow into them naturally and without difficulty. 

By explaining awrah boundaries calmly and modelling them consistently, you guide your children and their cousins with dignity. They learn that modesty is not a source of embarrassment, but a source of self-respect and a beautiful act of obedience to Allah Almighty.