Parenting Perspective 

Use Visual or Physical Cues 

If you find yourself constantly reminding your child to take turns, the key is to create a structure that does the work for you. One effective strategy is to use visual or physical cues. For example, during a group activity, you could introduce a ‘talking object’—perhaps a small ball or a special stone. The rule is simple: only the person holding the object can take their turn. Passing it around creates a natural rhythm and reduces the need for constant verbal intervention. 

Make Turn-Taking Predictable 

Children feel more secure when they can anticipate what will happen next. Making turns predictable helps them to wait with more patience. You can do this by creating a simple rotation, saying, ‘It will be your turn after Sara,’ or by using a visible chart for family games. This clarity and predictability reduces frustration and prevents arguments before they begin. 

Reinforce with Praise, Not Reminders 

Instead of only pointing out when they forget to take turns, make sure to highlight the moments when they wait patiently. A simple comment like, ‘I noticed how respectfully you waited for your turn, well done,’ provides powerful positive reinforcement. If they do slip up, a gentle redirection is much more effective than shaming. This makes the process feel supportive and gradually removes the need for constant prompting. 

Spiritual Insight 

Justice is a Command from Allah 

Islam places fairness and justice at the heart of good character. The act of giving everyone their rightful turn is a practical way to implement this divine command within the family, teaching children that good manners are a part of our faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘ Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

A Muslim is a Source of Safety for Others 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a true believer is someone from whom others feel safe and respected. This beautiful principle can be applied to turn-taking, as honouring someone’s turn is a way of making them feel valued and secure. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 41, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand people are safe.’ 

An Act of Fairness and Respect 

When a child learns to see turn-taking not just as a rule, but as an act of fairness and respect that is pleasing to Allah, they will begin to practise it willingly. This mindset helps to nurture patience and strengthens group harmony, fostering Islamic values that will benefit them throughout their lives.