Parenting Perspective 

Model a Gentle Tone 

Children will naturally copy the tone they hear most often at home. If reminders are usually given impatiently, they will imitate that. To encourage kindness, parents must first model a gentle tone themselves. Instead of an accusatory question like, ‘Why are you still on that tablet?’ a simple, calm statement like, ‘Remember, this is the time we put our screens away,’ is far more effective. This teaches children to avoid blaming language. 

Practise Kind Reminders Through Role-Play 

During a quiet moment, you can role-play respectful ways to give a reminder. For example, practise saying, ‘It is nearly time for prayer, shall we get ready?’ instead of, ‘You are going to be late again!’ It is also important to praise children when you hear them reminding each other kindly, as this reinforces that the tone matters just as much as the rule. This teaches them that a reminder should be an act of help, not an act of control. 

Transform Rules into Cooperation and Care 

By embedding kindness into the way children hold each other accountable, you transform rules from a source of tension into opportunities for cooperation and care. Over time, reminders become less about control and more about helping each other succeed. 

Spiritual Insight 

Invite with Wisdom and Good Instruction 

Islam teaches that believers should encourage one another towards good, but that this must always be done with wisdom and gentleness. The Quran reminds us that our words should be beautiful and inviting, not harsh or off-putting. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 125: 

‘Invite (people) to (follow) the (prescribed) pathways of your Sustainer with wisdom, and polite enlightened direction, and only argue with them in the politest manner…’ 

Religion is Sincerity 

The prophetic tradition teaches that sincerity (naseeha) is at the very heart of our religion. This includes giving advice and reminders to others in a way that is intended to help them, not to shame or control them. A kind reminder is a sincere one. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, 4199, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Religion is sincerity.’ We said: ‘To whom?’ He said: ‘To Allah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.’ 

Shared Values, Not Weapons 

When you teach children to remind each other with compassion, they learn to see rules not as weapons to be used against one another, but as shared family values. This perspective nurtures both responsibility and love, strengthening family bonds in a way that is pleasing to Allah.