How can I encourage my child to join in family meals? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Challenge 

Many children with additional needs find mealtimes overwhelming. Unfamiliar smells and tastes, noisy chatter or bright lights can all feel too much. Some children may refuse to sit at the table or insist on eating alone. 

Taking Small, Gentle Steps 

Start by trying to understand what makes your child uncomfortable. Is it certain textures, the noise or the pressure to sit still for too long? Take small, gentle steps to build a more positive connection with family meals. You could begin by simply inviting your child to sit at the table, even if they do not eat at first. The goal is to help them feel that mealtime is a safe and calm time to be together. 

Keeping Portions Small and Avoiding Pressure 

Keep portions small and stick to familiar foods when you can, adding just one new food alongside a ‘safe’ food they already like. Avoid forcing bites, as too much pressure can make picky eating even harder to overcome. Instead, praise tiny steps such as, ‘You sat with us for five minutes, well done!’ 

Creating a Calm Atmosphere 

A calm atmosphere can really help. Try dimming bright lights, keeping voices soft and removing distractions. If it works for your child, let them help prepare food in simple ways, like stirring or putting out cutlery. This can help them feel more comfortable around food and mealtime. 

Consistency matters, but so does flexibility. Some children benefit from having a special cushion or a favourite toy nearby. Trust that slow progress is still progress. Every moment your child feels welcome and unpressured at the table lays the foundation for calmer, happier family mealtimes in the future. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, sharing a meal is more than just eating, it is an act that strengthens family bonds and gratitude. When your child struggles with mealtimes, meet them with gentle understanding, not frustration. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahl (16), Verse 114: 

‘So eat of what Allah has provided for you [which is] lawful and good. And be grateful for the favour of Allah… ‘

This Ayah reminds us that mealtimes are a chance to practise gratitude, even in small steps. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3671, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Be kind to children and perfect in your upbringing of them. ‘

This Hadith Shareef encourages us to meet our children’s struggles with patience and love. Make sincere Dua that Allah Almighty makes your table a place of comfort for your child. Invite them with calm words, not force, and trust that your gentle consistency is not wasted. You are showing them that they belong, no matter how small their steps. May Allah Almighty bless your home with Barakah at every meal and ease your child’s path to feeling secure and included, bite by bite, day by day, InshaAllah.