How can I encourage good behaviour without shouting praise too loud? 

Parenting Perspective 

While encouraging good behaviour is essential, overly loud or exaggerated praise can sometimes embarrass a child or make the encouragement feel insincere. It can also cause them to perform good deeds only for the sake of loud approval. True encouragement should feel steady, warm, and specific, affirming your child’s effort in a way that builds their inner confidence without overwhelming them. 

Use Calm and Specific Praise 

Instead of shouting your praise from across the room, use a calm and close tone, and highlight exactly what you noticed and appreciated. You could say, ‘I really liked the way you shared your toy with your sister just now,’ or ‘You started your homework without me having to ask; that shows great responsibility.’ Specific praise feels much more genuine and clearly reinforces the exact behaviour you wish to see repeated. 

Offer Quiet Connection 

Sometimes, a simple non-verbal gesture can communicate your encouragement more powerfully than loud words. A warm smile, a thumbs-up from across the room, or a gentle hug tells your child that you have noticed and appreciated their effort, without turning it into a public performance. 

Make Praise Consistent, Not Rare 

Children should feel that their good behaviour is consistently recognised, not only when it is something exceptional. Quiet but regular encouragement for small, everyday acts of kindness helps to build their self-esteem. This also helps them to value the act of doing the right thing for its own sake, not just for the big reactions it might receive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that recognition and encouragement should be both thoughtful and sincere, never exaggerated. Just as Allah praises good deeds in the Quran with dignity and honour, parents can also learn to highlight their children’s efforts in a balanced and meaningful way. 

The Divine Standard of Reward 

The Quran reminds us that Allah rewards righteous deeds with fairness and depth, based on their true value, not with loudness or exaggeration. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 97: 

‘ Whoever undertakes virtuous actions – whether a male or female – and is of Muslim faith; We (Allah Almighty) shall surely sustain him with a life of purity; and We shall certainly reward them with recompense which befits the best of their actions.‘ 

Sincere Appreciation as a Form of Gratitude 

The prophetic tradition teaches that expressing appreciation to people is a vital part of being grateful to Allah. This implies that our thanks should be offered with sincerity, not withheld or turned into mere showmanship. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 218, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not thank the people has not thanked Allah.’ 

By encouraging your child’s good behaviour with calm and sincere words, you are mirroring the Islamic values of gratitude and balance. Your child learns that true recognition comes from being seen and valued, not from loud praise, which nurtures both their humility and their self-respect.