How can I demonstrate patience in replying to texts instead of reacting instantly, so my child learns delayed response is normal? 

Parenting Perspective 

Our children learn social etiquette by watching us. By modelling a calm, intentional approach to digital communication, you can teach them that not every message requires an instant reply and that patience is a form of respect. 

Be Transparent About Your Choice 

When a message arrives and you consciously decide not to reply immediately, you can let your child see this choice in action. Saying something simple like, ‘I will reply to that later so I can finish what I am doing now,’ makes your delayed response an intentional act of prioritisation. 

Prioritise What is in Front of You 

If you are in the middle of a conversation with your child, continue the conversation without glancing at your phone. This powerful act demonstrates that you value the person in front of you more than the notification. You can later explain, ‘I waited to reply because our conversation was my priority.’ 

Use a Routine for Checking Messages 

Instead of responding to messages as soon as they arrive, try to create set times for checking and replying. By following a visible routine, you show your child that communication can be managed thoughtfully rather than reactively, which reduces stress for everyone. 

Celebrate the Benefits of Waiting 

Talk openly about the benefits of not replying instantly. You can share how waiting helps you to think more clearly or respond more kindly. This helps your child to understand that patience is a strength, not a sign of neglect. 

By making your delayed responses purposeful, visible, and consistent, you normalise the idea that not every ping demands instant action. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Islamic tradition teaches the value of deliberation (ta’anni) and self-control, especially before speaking or writing. These principles of thoughtful communication apply just as much to our digital messages as they do to our spoken words. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘ And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) to infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.‘ 

This reminds us that taking a moment to formulate the best response helps to avoid misunderstandings and preserves the harmony of our relationships. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6018, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else remain silent.’ 

This teaches us that choosing our words carefully, and even delaying a response until it is thoughtful and beneficial, is a sign of good character and strong faith. 

By showing your child that you consistently choose patience over instant reaction, you give them a living example of composure, respect, and wisdom. These are qualities that will serve them well in all of their communications, both online and off.