Parenting Perspective 

When siblings are hurt by each other, it is natural for emotions to run high. However, when these feelings are not expressed properly, they can easily escalate into full-blown arguments. As a parent, it is your role to create an environment where emotions can be shared calmly. Start by acknowledging the emotional complexity of the situation. The child who feels hurt might be grappling with feelings of betrayal or disappointment. Validating these emotions is the first step toward resolution.

 

Creating Emotional Safety 

The most effective way to prevent escalation is by creating an atmosphere of emotional safety. When children feel that their emotions are respected and that they will be heard without judgement, they are more likely to express themselves calmly. This means approaching the situation with empathy, patience, and a genuine desire to understand each child’s perspective. 

Practical Approaches to Calm Expression 

Here are some practical ways to encourage calm expression: 

• Model Calmness: As you intervene, keep your voice steady. Children are highly sensitive to your emotional cues. If they see that you remain composed, they are more likely to follow suit. 

• Encourage Active Listening: Have each sibling listen to the other’s point of view without interrupting. You can guide them with phrases like, ‘Let us hear each other out first.’ 

• Set Ground Rules: Establish simple rules for disagreements, such as no shouting, no interrupting, and no name-calling. 

• Offer One-on-One Time: Sometimes, sibling conflict is compounded by a lack of individual attention. Offering one-on-one time to each child can reduce the need for a public confrontation. 

• Focus on Problem-Solving: Once the emotions have been heard, encourage solutions. Help them focus on how to avoid similar issues in the future. 

Building a Culture of Open Communication 

Over time, it is important to normalise open emotional expression within the family. By consistently creating spaces where siblings can communicate their feelings without fear of escalation, you teach them essential emotional skills such as empathy, self-regulation, and problem-solving. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quranic Perspective on Empathy and Respect 

The noble Quran teaches us the importance of respect and empathy when interacting with others, especially when conflicts arise. In the context of sibling relationships, it reminds us to approach one another with care and understanding. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

By fostering an environment of respect, siblings learn to express their emotions with sensitivity rather than anger. 

The Prophet’s Wisdom on Managing Disputes 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reflect the importance of reconciliation and mediation in moments of conflict. It highlights that bringing peace to a situation is not only noble but a reflection of true moral strength. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2583, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who makes peace between people is not a liar.’ 

Encouraging siblings to express themselves in a calm, controlled manner is a way of fostering peace and understanding, qualities that should be at the heart of any family dynamic.