How can I create a reset routine after emotional breakdowns? 

Parenting Perspective 

Emotional breakdowns, whether they involve shouting, tears, or rude behaviour, can leave both a parent and a child feeling drained. Without a clear reset routine, these heavy feelings can linger and create distance. A simple, consistent routine helps to signal that while mistakes happen, your family always has a way to return to a state of calmness, respect, and connection. 

Pause and Breathe 

Immediately after the breakdown, it is important to allow a few minutes of silence or a short period of separation so that emotions can settle. This simple pause prevents the situation from escalating further and creates the mental space needed for reflection and repair. 

Acknowledge Without Blame 

Once you are both calm, you can acknowledge what happened by saying, ‘That was a very difficult moment for both of us. Let’s try to talk about it respectfully now.’ This shifts the focus from blame to repair, while still clearly naming the need for respect to be restored. 

Reconnect With a Positive Action 

It is essential to end your reset routine with a small, tangible act of closeness. This could be sharing a hug, making a warm drink to have together, or working side-by-side on a simple task. This final step helps to rebuild a sense of emotional safety and reassures your child that your love for them remains constant. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that after any conflict or emotional turmoil, the path back to peace is through patience, forgiveness, and a return to good character. Creating a routine to facilitate this is a practical application of these profound spiritual values. 

The Strength Found in Patience and Forgiveness 

The Quran reminds us that the ability to be patient after being hurt and to offer forgiveness is an act of great strength and resolve. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 43: 

‘ And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.‘ 

The Weight of Good Character 

The prophetic tradition teaches that after an emotional lapse, the act of returning to a state of good character and respectful behaviour is one of the heaviest and most valuable deeds a person can do. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2002, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is nothing heavier in the scales of a believer on the Day of Judgement than good character, and Allah hates the one who is foul and obscene.’ 

By creating a reset routine, you are showing your child that discipline and love can coexist. They learn that even when tempers flare, respect, mercy, and reconnection are always possible, which mirrors the core Islamic values of patience, forgiveness, and renewal.