Parenting Perspective 

Separate Responsibility from Shame 

Children will only admit their mistakes if they feel safe enough to do so. If every admission is met with anger, they will learn to deny or shift blame. To create a safer environment, it is important to separate the act of taking responsibility from the feeling of shame. When your child admits they did something wrong, your first response should be to praise their honesty: ‘Thank you for being truthful with me. That was a brave thing to do.’ Only then should you calmly discuss the solution. This reinforces that honesty is respected. 

Model and Reinforce Accountability 

Make accountability a normal part of your family’s culture. Model this by admitting your own small mistakes aloud: ‘I forgot to buy milk today, that was my fault.’ When children see adults taking ownership of their errors, they learn that it is a normal and healthy part of life, not something to be embarrassed about. Over time, your children will come to associate taking responsibility with trust and maturity, not with fear. 

Strengthen Relationships Through Accountability 

By weaving praise into moments of accountability, you create an atmosphere where responsibility strengthens relationships and becomes part of your family’s core values. This builds trust and encourages open communication. 

Spiritual Insight 

Sincere Repentance Leads to Mercy 

Islam teaches that admitting our faults and turning to Allah with sincere repentance is the path to forgiveness and spiritual growth. This principle shows that acknowledging our mistakes is a sign of strength and is beloved to Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tahreem (66), Verse 8: 

‘ O you people, who are believers, seek repentance from your Sustainer with sincere contrition; perhaps your Sustainer shall absolve you from your sins; and admit you into the Gardens (of Paradise) underneath which flow rivers…’ 

The Best Who Err are Those Who Repent 

The prophetic tradition reminds us that making mistakes is an unavoidable part of being human. True excellence is found not in being perfect, but in having the humility and courage to repent and seek to do better. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2499, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.’ 

Accountability Before Allah 

When your children see that taking responsibility is linked to praise, love, and spiritual reward, they will begin to embrace it with confidence. This helps them to grow into individuals who value honesty and humility, and who understand the importance of accountability before both their family and Allah.