How can I correct my child’s behaviour without shaming them in front of others? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Harm of Public Correction 

Public correction often leaves behind more harm than healing. A child may seem indifferent when they are chastised in front of others, whether it be by stern words, humiliation, or piercing looks, but on the inside, they feel vulnerable. Shame creates barriers rather than character. 

The Private Approach 

Rather, respond to public misbehaviour by exercising silent restraint. Say something like, We will talk about this privately, while maintaining a low, neutral voice. This conveys that while there are limits, their dignity is important. Put your feelings aside later, after they have subsided, and start with a composed comprehension: What happened earlier was not okay, but I want to hear your side. This tactful method encourages dialogue rather than opposition. It teaches children that discipline is about learning and re-establishing connections, not about humiliation. Additionally, it assists children in internalising moral responsibility instead of responding defensively. This type of emotional intelligence in correction not only changes behaviour but also improves the relationship between parents and children. The child leaves feeling safer, wiser, and more receptive to change rather than humiliated. 

Spiritual Insight 

One of the best examples of maintaining dignity is the prophetic paradigm of correction. In public places, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ always refrained from naming or exposing people. Rather, he would employ tactful and oblique language so that the individual could think things through without feeling ashamed. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him.” 

This Hadith teaches that humiliation, even under the guise of discipline, is a form of oppression. Correction must always come from care, not from ego or frustration. Allah Almighty also gives powerful instruction in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

“….And do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames….” 

This verse indicates that, even in cases where someone is at fault, dignity is sacred. Furthermore, defending someone’s identity, particularly in public, is not just nice; it is required. Mirroring the prophetic approach means correcting a child in a private, compassionate, and clear manner. It demonstrates to your child that their value is unaffected by mistakes. that they are guided through their error rather than defined by it. In this way, Islamic discipline cultivates spirits as well as behaviour, with respect rather than shame.