How can I coach walking away when teammates cheat to win? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child is in a sports or group setting where others are cheating to win, they can feel torn between their sense of fairness and their fear of being left out. The key is not only to tell them to walk away, but to prepare their heart, their language, and their reasoning so that choosing integrity feels natural, not forced. Start by validating their emotions; it is difficult to feel excluded for doing the right thing. 

Redefine What ‘Winning’ Means 

Help your child to see that a victory gained through cheating is ultimately empty. You could ask them, ‘Would you still feel proud of the win if you knew you had broken the rules to get it?’ This allows them to internalise the difference between genuine success and deception. Share stories of athletes who stood for fairness, even at a personal cost. When children see moral strength as an admirable quality, they become less tempted by dishonest wins. 

Equip Them with Calm Exit Strategies 

Children often freeze when they are under peer pressure. It is helpful to prepare them with simple, assertive phrases they can use. 

• ‘This does not feel right to me, so I am out.’ 

• ‘We do not need to cheat; we are good enough to win fairly.’ 

• ‘I either play fair, or I do not play at all.’ 

Teach them to keep their tone calm and respectful. If walking away is the safest option, frame it as an honourable act, not a cowardly one. Afterwards, you can encourage them to speak privately with a coach or teacher, expressing their concern for fairness rather than making accusations. 

Create Practice Scenarios at Home 

Role-play different situations so that your child can experience the pressure in a safe environment. For example, you could pretend that a sibling has suggested lying to win a board game. Pause the game and ask, ‘What would you say in this situation?’ By praising their ethical choice out loud, you help to build their confidence. These rehearsals create a ‘moral muscle memory’, so that in a real-life situation, their conscience will have the words ready. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values honesty as a core element of faith. In every form of competition or cooperation, truthfulness is the line that separates an act of worship from a wrongdoing. Teaching your child to walk away from cheating is not just about sportsmanship; it is about training their soul to prefer purity over success and truth over ego. 

True Success Lies in Integrity 

The Quran reminds us that betrayal, even in what might seem like a small matter, erodes the soul. Cheating in a game may seem minor, but it can plant a habit of dishonesty that grows into larger moral compromises. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

When a child learns to uphold a trust, even when no one is watching, they strengthen their bond with Allah. You can tell your child, ‘A win is temporary, but the pleasure of Allah is everlasting.’ This helps to turn morality from a rule into a relationship between a believer and their Creator. 

The Value of Honesty in All Actions 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ elevate honesty to a sacred level, making it an act that brings a person closer to the highest ranks in the Hereafter. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1209, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A trader who is truthful and trustworthy will be with the Prophets, the truthful, and the martyrs.’ 

Although this hadith speaks of traders, its spirit applies to all who deal fairly with others. You can share this with your child to show them that honesty in any setting, even a playground match, carries immense spiritual weight. Every choice they make for the truth helps to build a character that is worthy of divine company. 

Remind them that every time they say, ‘I will not cheat,’ they are not losing the game; they are winning something far greater.