How can I address rude behaviour my child copied from peers? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are quick to imitate what they see and hear from their friends and classmates, which can include disrespectful tones or slang. When this kind of rude behaviour comes from peer influence, it requires a firm but understanding correction. The goal is to help your child recognise that just because ‘everyone else is doing it’, it does not mean that the behaviour is acceptable in your home. 

Address It Calmly and Directly 

You can say to your child, ‘I know that you may have heard your friends speaking that way, but in our family, we do not use those words.’ This approach separates the behaviour from your child’s identity; it makes it clear that the action is not acceptable, without shaming them for being influenced by their peers. 

Teach Them to Filter Influences 

Explain to your child that not everything we see among our friends is good to copy. You could say, ‘Friends might do many different things, but we must always try to choose the words and actions that please Allah and show respect to others.’ Helping your child to think critically about the influences they adopt is a key part of strengthening their independence and character. 

Offer Better Alternatives 

It is important to model the respectful words or tone that they should use instead and to practise these alternatives with them. When you notice them making a positive choice and replacing a copied rude expression with a polite one, be sure to offer them praise for their effort. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of emphasis on the importance of choosing good company, as our friends and peers have a powerful influence on our character and faith. Guiding a child to navigate peer pressure is a vital part of their Islamic upbringing. 

The Danger of Wrong Companionship 

The Quran warns of the deep regret a person will feel on the Day of Judgement if they allowed themselves to be led astray by the wrong kind of friends. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 28: 

‘ Woe be unto me, how I wish that I had not taken so-and-so as a friend.‘ 

The Influence of Good and Bad Company 

The prophetic tradition uses a powerful analogy to illustrate how profoundly our companions affect us, whether for good or for bad. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2101, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blacksmith’s bellows; you will either be affected by his fragrance or his smoke.’ 

By addressing rude behaviour that your child has copied from their peers, you are teaching them that their faith gives them the tools to filter outside influences. They learn that respect is not about ‘fitting in’, but about living with dignity and faith, and that true friends are those who uplift our character, not those who pull it down.