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How can I adapt bonding practices to suit each of my children’s different temperaments?

Parenting Perspective

Depending on their personalities, children have different emotional demands. While some like quiet, one-on-one time, others are gregarious and thrive on active play. Take note of each child’s reactions to various forms of interaction. While some people bond over shared tasks, others may enjoy bedtime conversations. Modify your strategy: give the independent youngster more room, slow down for the sensitive one, and provide consistency for the cautious one. Meeting them where they are, an attuned connection, rather than treating them equally, is the aim.

Spiritual Insight

Islam honours individual differences. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 84: ‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): ‘Each person acts according to their own temperament, so your Sustainer is fully aware as to who is the one, who (has chosen to be on) the rightly guided pathways.’’ The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave personalised attention to each companion and child. It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3687, that ‘The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: ‘Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.’’. Tailoring your love is not unfair; it is prophetic. Moreover, the real challenge of parenthood is to make each child feel seen and accepted just the way they are.

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