Parenting Perspective 

When a child is frequently compared to their peers, whether in terms of their school grades, appearance, or possessions, it can gradually erode their inner confidence. Instead of appreciating themselves as unique individuals, they can fall into the habit of constantly measuring their worth against the achievements and qualities of others. 

Creating Feelings of Inadequacy 

A child who is repeatedly told that others are smarter, better dressed, or more talented may start to believe that they can never measure up. This weakens their self-belief, which can lead to a reluctance to try new things and a persistent fear of failure. 

The Risk of Fostering Envy and Resentment 

Constant comparisons can breed envy towards peers, which is poisonous to healthy friendships. At the same time, children may begin to resent the authority figures, such as parents or teachers, who make them feel inferior through these comparisons. 

The Long-Term Consequences 

When children learn to tie their self-worth to external measures, they can become anxious, perfectionistic, or overly dependent on the approval of others. This damages their natural resilience, making it much harder for them to cope with and recover from life’s inevitable setbacks. 

How to Support Your Child’s Inner Confidence 

Parents can build a strong foundation of self-worth in their children. 

• Focus on your child’s unique strengths and praise their effort, rather than comparing them to anyone else. 

• Encourage and celebrate their personal progress, however small, and praise character traits like kindness and perseverance. 

• Teach your child that growth is a personal journey and that it cannot be measured against somebody else’s path. 

These steps strengthen a child’s self-belief and help them to value themselves for who they are, not for how they rank against others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on the principle that each person has been uniquely honoured by Allah. The act of making constant comparisons between people overlooks this divinely-given dignity and serves only to plant dissatisfaction in the heart. 

The Quranic View on Human Dignity 

The Quran reminds us that every human being has been created with inherent honour, regardless of how they measure up in worldly terms. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam…’ 

This verse confirms that every child is inherently worthy and dignified, a fact that is not affected by comparisons. 

Prophetic Guidance on Maintaining Self-Worth 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught a practical method for protecting the heart from the harm of social comparison, guiding us towards contentment and gratitude. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4142, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not look to those above you; instead, look to those below you, for it is more suitable that you do not belittle the favour of Allah upon you.’ 

This hadith provides a powerful tool to steer the heart away from envy and towards an appreciation of one’s own blessings. 

By reminding children that their true worth is defined by the honour given to them by Allah and by their own sincere efforts, parents can protect them from the wounds of comparison. This nurtures a resilient inner confidence that is built on gratitude, faith, and a clear sense of their own unique value.