Parenting Perspective 

When children are continuously pressured to conform to cultural demands, whether in their dress, behaviour, or social practices, they can begin to feel overwhelmed. Instead of embracing their background with a sense of pride, they may start to associate their culture with stress and restriction. This heavy burden can lead to them feeling resentment towards their own identity, rather than a sense of connection. 

Overburdening a Child with Expectations 

A child’s identity should be a source of strength and belonging. When it becomes a long list of rigid rules and expectations, it can feel like a cage, stifling their natural development and individuality. 

Creating an Emotional Disconnection from Family 

Children who are not given the space to understand or question traditions may come to see them as arbitrary rules imposed upon them. Over time, they may distance themselves emotionally from their parents or relatives, feeling that their own thoughts and feelings are not respected. This can weaken trust within the family. 

The Risk of Identity Rejection 

Constant demands without clear, compassionate explanation can lead children to reject their culture altogether. They may begin to feel ashamed of their background, especially if it makes them feel different from their peers. This rejection often comes with a great deal of confusion, leaving them unsure of who they are or where they belong. 

The Long-Term Consequences 

This pressure can have lasting effects. 

• A Fragile Self-Esteem: A child may equate their self-worth with how well they meet cultural expectations, not with their own personal growth. 

• Rebellion or Withdrawal: Some may openly rebel against their culture, while others may silently withdraw from family and community practices. 

• A Loss of Balance: They may adopt extremes, either blindly rejecting their culture or clinging to harmful practices out of a sense of guilt. 

Guiding Children with a Balanced Approach 

Parents can protect their children from resentment by separating what is cultural from what is Islamic and explaining the value behind positive traditions. Encouraging open dialogue helps children to feel respected. By modelling a balanced approach, embracing what is beneficial while leaving what is harmful, parents show their children that identity is a source of dignity, not of pressure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam is a religion of ease and balance, not of hardship. While culture can be a source of identity, it must always be secondary to the principles of the faith. When cultural demands become oppressive or contradict Islamic teachings, they lose their legitimacy. 

A Quranic Reminder on Mercy in Guidance 

The Quran reminds us that the purpose of our faith is to uplift and guide us, not to overwhelm us with unbearable burdens. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse shows that our religion is one of mercy, and any cultural practice that becomes an unbearable burden is not from the spirit of Islam. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Ease in Religion 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ repeatedly warned against making the religion difficult for people, as this can push them away. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make things difficult; give glad tidings and do not drive people away.’ 

This hadith shows that imposing unnecessary cultural burdens can push children away from their identity and faith. 

By framing culture as something flexible and secondary to core Islamic values, parents can help their children to embrace their identity with confidence. Teaching them that Allah values sincerity and righteousness far more than social demands restores a sense of pride and peace, allowing them to connect positively with who they are, free from resentment.