Parenting Perspective 

Children often perceive apologising as a duty they must perform for others, without realising that it also offers a significant benefit to them. A sincere apology has the power to bring relief, lift the weight of guilt, and restore a sense of peace within a child’s own heart. Helping them to recognise this internal benefit can transform the act of apologising from a burden into a welcome source of comfort. 

Connect the Apology to a Feeling of Relief 

Explain the emotional relief that an apology can bring in simple, relatable terms. You could say, “When we hold on to a mistake, it can feel like carrying a heavy bag. When we say sorry and make things right, it is like finally putting that heavy bag down. Our own heart feels lighter and happier.” 

Notice the Shift in Their Emotions 

Help your child become aware of their own feelings before and after an apology. When they are feeling upset or worried after having made a mistake, you can gently point out the change afterwards: “Do you remember how worried you felt before? Now that you have said sorry, your heart feels calmer, does it not?” This helps them to directly associate the act of apologising with achieving personal peace. 

Highlight the Joy of a Restored Friendship 

Draw their attention to the positive relational outcomes of their apology. You could say, “Look how happy your friend was when you apologised and gave back the toy. Does it not make you feel happy as well to see them smiling again?” When children see that an apology brings a double reward, healing others and themselves, they are more motivated to offer one. 

Model the Inner Peace That Apologies Bring 

Demonstrate this principle in your own life by verbalising your feelings. For example, you might say to your child, “I felt bad earlier when I was impatient with you. Now that I have said sorry, I feel much better and more peaceful inside.” This shows them that apologising is not a weakness, but a mature way to regain your own sense of calm and happiness. 

When children personally experience the relief that a sincere apology can bring, they begin to embrace it willingly as a source of comfort, rather than viewing it merely as a duty owed to others. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the acts of apology and repentance are not only for repairing external relationships but also for cleansing one’s own heart. Just as seeking forgiveness from Allah Almighty brings profound peace to the soul, apologising sincerely to people helps to restore inner calm and removes the spiritual heaviness of guilt. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verses 28: 

‘Those people who are believers, and attain serenity of their hearts with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty); Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This verse reminds us that turning towards Allah, whether by seeking His forgiveness directly or by mending ties with others as He has commanded, is the ultimate source of comfort and tranquillity for the heart. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that truthfulness and sincerity bring peace of mind. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2518, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Leave what makes you in doubt for what does not make you in doubt. The truth is reassurance and falsehood is doubt.’ 

This teaches us that living truthfully and sincerely, which includes offering a sincere apology when we are at fault, brings a sense of relief and removes the disquiet that comes from hiding a mistake. By showing children that an apology lightens their own heart as much as it heals others, they learn that it is a gift to themselves as well. It becomes a powerful tool for achieving inner peace, strengthening their character, and drawing closer to Allah Almighty.