During exam season or high-stress periods, our household becomes tense and silent. How do we create a calmer energy even when we are under pressure? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of a Tense Atmosphere 

Children’s emotions are significantly influenced by the emotional climate of their households, particularly during periods of high tension, such as deadlines or exams, even when no harsh words are spoken. Tension does not need to be loud to make an impact. When everyone becomes aloof, impatient, or robotic, children begin to equate success with anxiety, and effort with emotional shutdown. This can establish a lifelong association between stress and relational coldness, gradually eroding a child’s sense of safety and support. 

A Strategy for Connection 

The trick is to remain emotionally available rather than trying to appear joyful. Instead of snapping or withdrawing, try stating the situation calmly: “We are all under pressure right now, but we are still a team.” Then create time for micro-moments of connection, such as a quick embrace before revision, a five-minute pause to giggle about something silly, or even a shared dua. Children do not require a pressure-free environment. They need to understand that pressure does not negate love. If your child watches you extend without snapping and yet find room for kindness, it will serve as a model for them on how to balance strength and softness. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, striving is rewarded, but not at the expense of mercy. The wonderful legacy of our faith demonstrates that effort and gentleness must coexist. During times of conflict, migration, or uncertainty, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ refused to allow pressure excuse brutality. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

This recurrence is not accidental; it is divine emphasis. Every suffering comes with an element of ease. However, we must train our hearts to identify it. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters. ‘

Let that be your guiding tone, not merely in calm moments, but especially while under pressure. When infants see kindness endure adversity, they internalise calm as strength, not weakness, and it becomes their anchor in any future storm.