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Do boys take longer to focus than girls?

Parenting Perspective

It is true that boys and girls often exhibit different developmental rhythms, particularly in the early years. Many boys are more physically inclined, displaying higher energy levels and a stronger need for movement and sensory input. This can sometimes be misinterpreted as a lack of focus or discipline, but in reality, it reflects a different learning style rather than a deficit. Girls, on average, may develop certain cognitive and emotional regulation skills earlier, which includes the ability to sit still, follow instructions, or remain engaged in quiet, structured tasks.
However, it is essential to avoid drawing rigid comparisons or assuming that all boys or all girls behave in specific ways. Every child is unique, and developmental timelines vary greatly. Instead of expecting stillness or prolonged concentration too early, especially from active boys, parents and educators should focus on adapting the learning environment. Incorporating physical movement, using shorter and varied learning sessions, and offering hands-on activities can help boys stay engaged without forcing them into modes of learning that do not suit their current stage of development.
Above all, avoid shaming or comparing children. Telling a boy to ‘behave like the girls’ may seem like harmless feedback, but it can affect self-esteem and discourage authentic growth. When children are nurtured with patience and guided through understanding, they not only learn more effectively but also grow in confidence and character.

Spiritual Insight

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verse 9: ‘Without any doubt success is for the one who developed purity (of the self).’ This profound Ayah speaks of the soul’s journey towards refinement, not in competition with others, but in connection with one’s own capacity and effort. Just as every soul matures at its own pace, so too do the minds and behaviours of children. There is no singular timeline that fits all.
It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 947, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ demonstrated exceptional patience with children. He did not expect uniform behaviour from them nor reprimand them for being playful or distracted. Instead, he responded with kindness, redirecting gently and teaching through love and example. His ﷺ approach reflected a deep understanding of developmental readiness and emotional safety.
Progress in learning and character should never be forced. It is not a race to be won, but a path to be illuminated through encouragement, structure, and compassion. When boys are given the space to grow without judgement, they develop focus not through pressure but through trust and engagement. This is how we honour both their fitrah and their future.

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