Could my child’s reluctance to join family activities be linked to seeing me prioritise tech? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, it is very possible. Children take their emotional cues from the home environment. If they frequently observe you prioritising a phone or laptop over shared family activities, they may logically conclude that family time is less important or less rewarding than screen time. This can naturally lead to a decline in their own enthusiasm for joining in. 

Observational Learning in Action 

Children learn far more from what you consistently do than from what you say. If they see you multitasking on a device during a family meal or a conversation, they learn that these moments do not require one’s full attention. This can subtly devalue the importance of family time in their eyes. 

Impact on Motivation 

When a child sees a parent repeatedly choosing a screen over a shared activity, it can have a direct impact on their own motivation. They may subconsciously think, ‘If my parents do not seem to value this, why should I?’. This can make family time feel less special and less worthy of their engagement. 

Shaping a New Example 

You have the power to shift this perception by modelling a new example. By actively putting your own devices away during family moments and showing genuine enthusiasm and enjoyment, your visible participation can reignite their interest and teach them that shared, real-world activities are valuable and fun. 

By modelling presence, you reinforce the powerful message that your family time together is meaningful and worth protecting from distractions. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic faith, family ties are a sacred trust (amanah) from Allah. The way we prioritise our family time directly influences how our children will learn to value these precious bonds throughout their own lives. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Muhammad (47), Verses 22–23: 

‘ Then if by any chance you (O hypocrites) were given authority (to govern); you would cause (immoral) anarchy on the Earth and sever your ties of association (focused only on self-interest). These are the people who have earned the curse of Allah (Almighty); then they become deaf (to the voice of reason), and their vision is blinded (by self-obsession)…‘ 

This stern warning reminds us of the immense gravity of protecting our family bonds. Neglecting these ties is a serious matter, and we should always be mindful of anything that causes them to weaken. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 68, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates, but the one who, when his relatives cut him off, maintains relations with them.’ 

This teaches a profound lesson about responsibility. Maintaining family connection is not a passive act of returning a favour, but an active effort we must make, even when faced with the disinterest of others or the pull of our own distractions. 

By visibly prioritising family activities over technology, you send a clear and powerful message to your child: shared time is a treasure to be cherished, not an interruption to be tolerated. This example will, in time, encourage them to re-engage with family life with their whole heart.