Parenting Perspective 

Children often assume that once the word ‘sorry’ has been said, the matter is concluded. Although the words are important, the deeper lesson is that a true apology is about consciously repairing the bond that was affected by their actions. Teaching this helps children to value their relationships and understand that their actions matter just as much as their words. 

Connect the Apology to the Act of Healing 

Explain the purpose of an apology using a simple analogy. You could say, “When we say we are sorry, it is not just about the words. It is like putting a bandage on a hurt feeling. We are helping to fix the friendship and make it strong again.” Simple metaphors like this make the abstract idea of relational repair much easier for a child to understand. 

Encourage Restorative and Kind Actions 

Help your child see that an apology should be followed by kind and helpful behaviour. For example, if they have upset a friend, encourage them to share a toy, offer a hug, or simply ask if their friend is alright. This teaches them that real reconciliation comes through thoughtful action and a genuine desire to make the other person feel better. 

Highlight Positive Real-Life Examples 

When you see an apology leading to a positive outcome, point it out. If siblings have a disagreement, you can guide them towards reconciliation and then highlight the result: “When you said sorry and gave him back his toy, your brother started smiling again. Do you see how your kindness made things better between you?” Linking an apology to a visible, positive change reinforces the idea that it restores connection. 

Model Relationship Repair in Your Own Life 

Demonstrate how you repair and value relationships in your own life. If you have been impatient with your child, you could say, “I am sorry I was not more patient earlier. Let us do something nice together to reconnect.” This shows them that a sincere apology often includes making an active effort to strengthen the bond of love, rather than just uttering words and moving on. 

By consistently framing an apology as a tool for fixing relationships, you guide your child to value the feelings of others over the convenience of using quick words. They learn that mending and restoring bonds is the true purpose of an apology. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of emphasis on maintaining strong bonds of kinship and friendship, and on seeking reconciliation after disagreements. An apology, from this perspective, is far more than a mere phrase; it is a vital first step towards healing ties, an act that is deeply beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 1: 

‘…So, seek piety from Allah (Almighty), and correct all matters (in the relationships) between yourselves…’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of repairing relationships is a component of piety (taqwa). A true apology, therefore, must include a sincere effort to restore the peace and trust that was broken. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that maintaining brotherhood was central to faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1935, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not hate one another, and do not turn away from one another, but rather be servants of Allah as brothers. It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days.’ 

This teaches us that reconciliation is a core duty for a believer, and the act of restoring a bond is far more important than holding on to one’s pride. By explaining that apologies in Islam are intended to mend hearts, not just to clear one’s own guilt, children learn that they have a responsibility to care for their relationships as well as their own actions. This nurtures compassion, humility, and the profound understanding that healing the ties between people is a beautiful form of worship and an essential part of a noble character.