What Helps When One Sibling Ruins Another’s Creations on Purpose? 

Parenting Perspective 

Name the Motive, Not Just the Mess 

When a child deliberately destroys a sibling’s tower, drawing, or Lego creation, it often signals feelings of jealousy, a bid for attention, or a need to feel in control. Begin by calmly naming the pattern you observe: ‘I noticed you knocked the tower over just after your brother received praise. That looks like you are feeling hurt and frustrated, not like you are having fun.’ This approach separates the feeling from the act and reduces the child’s urge to deny their actions. You are teaching, not prosecuting. 

Protect Creative Spaces Before Conflict 

Prevention is a powerful tool. Establish two distinct zones: a ‘Safe Shelf’ for works in progress that no one is allowed to touch, and a ‘Show Table’ where finished creations can be displayed for a set period. Use simple signs and perhaps a timer to manage display times. When ownership and boundaries are clearly visible, opportunities for sabotage decrease. Explain to both children: ‘If it is on the Safe Shelf, it is hands-off. If it is on the Show Table, you can admire it with your eyes and words only.’ 

Make Restitution Practical and Predictable 

When damage occurs, shift the focus from blame to repair. Follow a simple and consistent ritual: 

• Stop and settle: Everyone takes a moment to breathe, and voices are lowered. 

• Restore: The child who broke the creation helps to rebuild, tape, or redraw it for a specific, timed period. 

• Return dignity: The builder gets to choose how the rebuilding starts, for example, which part they would like to fix first. 

Keep your tone steady and your instructions brief. This process teaches that causing harm comes with responsibility, and that dignity can be restored without humiliation. 

Coach Envy into Requests, Not Wrecking 

Jealousy is often a wish in disguise. Provide the jealous child with words that can help them move towards connection rather than destruction: 

• ‘I would like a turn with you when you finish.’ 

• ‘Please show me how you made that roof.’ 

• ‘Can I build a matching tower next to yours?’ 

Practise these phrases when everyone is calm and offer praise for any genuine attempt: ‘You asked for a turn instead of breaking it. That showed strong self-control.’ 

Use Short, Natural Consequences that Protect Trust 

If the sabotage continues, apply a limited and logical consequence that is directly tied to access. This might mean the loss of building time for one session, or the children working in separate zones until a few successful, fair-play interactions have occurred. State the consequence calmly: ‘You can build near your brother again after you have had two cooperative sessions together.’ Always pair the consequence with a very clear path back to earning trust, so that hope remains. 

Give the Saboteur a Positive Path to Attention 

Children who destroy things often crave being seen and valued. Create positive roles that make them feel important, such as a ‘Construction Assistant’ who finds missing pieces, a ‘Display Manager’ who chooses where finished creations are placed, or a ‘Photo Captain’ who photographs the creations for a family gallery. Celebrate their contributions with specific language: ‘You guarded the Show Table very well. That protected your sister’s hard work.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

The Qur’anic Lens: Build Brotherhood and Reconcile Fairly 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

Teach your children that their relationship is not a rivalry but a trust that they must protect. When you guide them to repair what was broken and reconcile fairly, you are practising the teaching of this verse within your home. By making peace, returning rights, and reminding both children to act with consciousness of Allah, you invite mercy into your family. 

The Prophetic Lens: A True Muslim Does Not Harm 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 10, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his tongue and hands…’ 

Gently explain that smashing a sibling’s work is a form of harm done by the hand. Real strength is not found in breaking what others build; it is found in restraining one’s hand, guarding the feelings of others, and choosing to be fair. Invite the child who struggles with this to make a private intention before they play: ‘For the sake of Allah, I will protect my sibling’s effort.’ Tying every act of self-control back to this hadith helps the heart connect restraint with honour. 

By establishing a family covenant to protect each other’s creations, fix what is broken, and rejoin with kindness, your home can shift from a place of rivalry to one of partnership. Creations become not just structures on a table, but lessons in patience, justice, and ihsan (excellence) lived between the people Allah Almighty has made brothers and sisters.