How do I guide my child to value others’ belongings as much as their own? 

Parenting Perspective 

Teaching a child to respect others’ property is about shifting their perspective from ‘mine versus yours’ to ‘ours under Allah’s trust’. This requires nurturing empathy and embedding principles of responsibility into daily life, transforming care into a consistent habit rather than a rule to be followed. 

Build Empathy Before Rules 

Children often see possessions primarily in terms of ownership rather than care. The first step is to cultivate empathy through experience. Invite your child to lend a cherished toy to a friend for a day and afterwards, discuss how it felt to trust someone with something important. Explain to them, ‘When you borrow something, you are holding someone’s trust, just as others hold yours.’ Empathy must precede correction; without it, rules about respect can feel empty and arbitrary. 

Make Respect a Daily Habit 

Integrate the value of respect into daily routines instead of treating it as a special lesson. At home, establish a simple and clear rule that is easy to remember: Ask. Use. Return. Display this on a family notice board as a constant reminder. Offer praise when you observe this behaviour in action: ‘You returned your sister’s book so carefully. That shows great respect.’ Model this conduct with your spouse’s or domestic helper’s belongings, as children learn reverence through imitation. Create small family ‘trust moments’ where each person lends an item for shared use, and everyone thanks the owner afterwards. This builds care as a living habit. 

Teach Repair as Responsibility 

If something is accidentally damaged, avoid placing blame and instead focus on the process of making amends. You can fix the item together, write an apology note, or help save up to replace what was broken. These actions transform a sense of guilt into accountability and strengthen respect for both people and their possessions. Ensure that this process always concludes with reconnection. For example, you could say, ‘You helped to fix it, and now your brother feels better. That is how you restore trust.’ This links emotional repair to material care. 

Expand Awareness Beyond the Home 

When you are in public places, such as at school, a mosque, or a friend’s house, gently remind your child that shared spaces belong to everyone. Use simple phrases like, ‘We should leave things as we found them,’ or ‘We must treat borrowed spaces as if they were our own.’ Assign them small roles of stewardship, such as helping to tidy the shoe rack at the mosque or wiping a table at the library. When they act responsibly, praise their amanah (trustworthiness) by saying, ‘You looked after something that was not yours, and that shows great maturity.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam provides a profound framework for understanding possessions not as absolute ownership but as a sacred trust from Allah Almighty. Teaching a child to respect others’ belongings is a fundamental part of fulfilling this trust and deepens their connection to their faith. 

Teach Amanah and Ihsan in Everyday Care 

Islam frames possessions not as direct ownership but as an amanah, or a trust from Allah Almighty. When a child understands that every item is under the watchful eye of Allah Almighty, even small acts of care become a form of worship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verses 8: 

‘And those people who are responsible in the execution of all matters entrusted to them and promised by them.‘ 

This verse honours those who treat every trust, whether physical or moral, with complete faithfulness. Teaching your child that every borrowed object, every friend’s pencil, and every shared space is a trust connects good manners directly with faith. The core message becomes simple: being careful is being faithful. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 33, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays the trust.’ 

Explain that every time we use someone else’s belongings carelessly, we betray a small trust. Conversely, when we return an item in a better condition than when we received it, we are acting with ihsan, which is a level of excellence that pleases Allah Almighty. Remind your child that true respect extends not just to their own things, but to anything Allah has placed within their reach. When they handle others’ belongings with gentleness and gratitude, they honour both the owner and their Creator.