What questions do I ask school about support plans and reviews? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child begins to receive additional help in school, it can feel like stepping into a new system with its own language and pace. You want to trust the process, yet you also need to ensure your child’s needs are being truly understood, not just managed. The most effective way to do this is through informed, collaborative questioning: calm, specific, and focused on progress rather than blame. 

A support plan, whether called an IEP (Individual Education Plan), ILP (Individual Learning Plan), or SEN Support Plan, should be a living document, not a form that gathers dust. It must reflect what is genuinely working for your child and evolve through regular review. The questions you ask determine whether it serves this purpose. 

Questions that clarify understanding 

Start by seeking clarity about the basis of the plan: 

• What needs or assessments led to this support plan? 

• What specific goals has the school identified, and how were these chosen? 

• How does the plan build on my child’s strengths as well as address challenges? 

Such questions show partnership and encourage teachers to share reasoning, not just outcomes. When you understand why each goal exists, you can reinforce it consistently at home. 

Questions that explore support quality 

The next step is to uncover how help is being delivered: 

• Who is directly supporting my child, and how often? 

• What does support look like during lessons, transitions, or unstructured times like break? 

• How will you measure whether the strategies are working? 

• What training or expertise do the staff involved have in my child’s specific needs? 

Micro-action: Summarise agreements by email 

After each meeting, summarise what was agreed in a short email, just three or four bullet points. This ensures accuracy and accountability while preserving goodwill. Written clarity prevents misunderstandings and shows that you are engaged but respectful. 

Questions for review meetings 

When reviews take place, aim to evaluate change, not just compliance: 

• Which strategies have had clear impact? What evidence supports that view? 

• What remains difficult, and what new approaches could we trial? 

• How is progress being tracked between school and home? 

• How can we make sure the child’s own voice and perspective are heard? 

If goals remain static over multiple reviews, that signals the plan may need refreshing. A good support plan is dynamic; it evolves as your child grows, learns, and gains confidence. 

Balancing advocacy with relationship 

Schools often respond best when communication feels constructive. Begin with appreciation for what is working: ‘I can see how much calmer my child feels since you adjusted the seating’ carries more weight than frustration alone. It keeps teachers receptive. Yet do not hesitate to ask for evidence, adjustments, or outside referrals when progress stalls. Advocacy is not confrontation; it is stewardship of your child’s right to thrive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Seeking clarity and fairness for your child’s support is a form of amanah, the trust Allah Almighty has placed upon parents. It requires both gentleness and firmness, guided by sincerity rather than pride. Islam values wisdom in dialogue, urging believers to speak truth with balance and respect. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.’ 

This verse invites parents to use speech that builds cooperation, not conflict. When you approach teachers with calm reasoning, you protect the relationship from misunderstanding and keep focus on the child’s welfare, not on winning a point. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1967, that the holy Prophet Muhammad `ﷺ` said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ 

This Hadith teaches that good speech is not just politeness; it is a form of faith. Asking thoughtful questions, choosing words that unite rather than divide, and thanking teachers for their efforts, these all become acts of worship when done for the sake of your child’s wellbeing. 

Remember, Allah Almighty loves those who seek knowledge and act with justice. When you prepare your questions, you are not merely engaging a school system; you are fulfilling your role as a guardian with ihsan, excellence in intention and action. Each careful question, each respectful follow up, builds a bridge of trust that benefits not only your child but the entire learning environment. 

In the end, the most powerful outcome of any review is not a perfect document, but a shared understanding: that every child deserves to be seen, supported, and celebrated as a unique creation of Allah Almighty. When your advocacy is anchored in faith and compassion, your words carry quiet authority, the kind that transforms meetings into moments of mercy.