How do I help my child feel seen by Allah even when people do not praise them? 

Parenting Perspective 

Affirming Effort Over External Praise 

It is natural for children to feel invisible when their hard work goes unacknowledged. In these moments, you can gently redirect their focus from external validation to their own inner value. You can affirm their effort in quiet, meaningful ways by saying things like, ‘I noticed how carefully you did that, even though no one was watching’, or ‘What truly matters is that you gave your best effort’. 

This quiet affirmation teaches them that their worth is tied not to public applause, but to the sincerity of their actions. 

Building Resilience Through Quiet Recognition 

Encourage your child to find satisfaction in doing good for its own sake, not for the applause it might bring. You can share stories where an act of kindness was done quietly and still had a great impact. This helps them learn that true confidence comes from knowing you have done the right thing, regardless of who is watching. 

When you consistently acknowledge their unseen effort, such as tidying a room without being asked or helping a sibling in secret, you strengthen their sense of being valued. This prepares them to stand with confidence in a world where not every good deed receives praise. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Certainty of Allah’s Divine Knowledge 

Islam places profound importance on the unseen, reminding us that Allah Almighty is the ultimate witness to all things. This knowledge is a source of immense strength for a believer. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 139: 

‘And do not weaken (seeing the strength of the opposition), and do not grieve (for those who have passed away as martyrs); and ultimately you will prevail, if you are (true) believers.’ 

This verse can empower a child, assuring them that their true dignity and success are derived from their faith and sincerity, not from the validation of other people. 

The Praise That Truly Matters 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the value of any action lies in the intention behind it, a principle that frees us from needing the approval of others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 75, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The deeds are but by intention, and every man shall have only that which he intended.’ 

Teaching this Hadith to a child helps them understand that Allah Almighty sees and values the sincerity in their heart, even when no one else does. By gently reminding them of this, you can strengthen their self-worth and help them anchor their identity in seeking divine approval rather than human praise.