What is the fix when my child performs only with an audience watching? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Need for an Audience 

When a child performs only in front of others, it often indicates that their motivation is tied to external praise rather than an internal sense of accomplishment. They may feel their effort is worthwhile only when it receives applause, which can make private practice or quiet study seem unappealing. This is not a character flaw but a developmental stage in which a child is learning about recognition. The solution involves gently guiding them to shift their focus from performing for attention to finding satisfaction in their own personal growth. 

Shifting Focus from Applause to Effort 

Parents can begin by celebrating the process rather than the final performance. Instead of concentrating on what others will think, highlight moments of persistence and dedication, saying something like, ‘I love how you kept trying until you solved that problem’. Create private moments of encouragement where you invite them to share their work just with you, emphasising that their efforts are valuable even without a wider audience. You can also help them set small, personal goals, such as improving a skill for their own sense of pride. While occasional praise is healthy, balancing it with private affirmation builds resilience and teaches that true achievement does not depend on spectators. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Islamic Emphasis on Sincerity 

Islam teaches that the genuine value of any deed lies in its sincerity, not in the number of people who witness it. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Bayyinah (98), Verse 5: 

‘And they were not commanded to worship anyone except Allah (Almighty); become sincere (in following) the pathway of life (compliant with existential nature as created by Allah Almighty), imbued with principled virtuosity…’ 

This verse reminds us that actions performed purely for Allah Almighty hold far greater worth than those driven by a desire for attention. Parents can connect this principle to everyday life by helping children understand that their efforts are always seen by Allah, even if no one else notices. 

Valuing Intention Over Recognition 

The intention behind an action is paramount in determining its spiritual value. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nasaii, Hadith 75, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are but by intention, and every man shall have only that which he intended.’ 

This guidance highlights that intentions, not audiences, determine the true reward of what we do. By teaching children to begin their efforts with a good intention, whether to please Allah, develop a skill, or help others, parents can nurture sincerity and inner confidence. Over time, this spiritual perspective reassures children that they are never unseen, for Allah Almighty is the ultimate Witness of every quiet effort.