What should I do when my child says ‘I don’t care’ about rewards anymore? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child declares they ‘do not care’ about rewards, it is often a sign that external motivators have lost their effectiveness. This moment presents an opportunity to move from surface-level incentives to deeper, more meaningful connections. 

Look Beyond External Motivation 

Instead of pushing harder with the same rewards, step back and consider what your child truly needs. Their statement may signal a need for more emotional encouragement, shared time, or genuine recognition of their effort rather than a focus on material outcomes. By listening calmly and showing interest in their feelings, you communicate that their voice matters. This creates the space for them to discover their own inner motivation. 

Reframe Rewards as Earned Responsibility 

Practical adjustments can also help bridge this gap. Begin to replace transactional rewards with responsibilities that symbolise trust, such as allowing them to plan a family meal or choose an outing. These forms of reinforcement demonstrate that maturity and reliability earn respect, which is often more valuable than a token prize. Pair this approach with sincere praise for character traits like persistence and kindness. If your child continues to resist, maintain a steady tone and avoid a power struggle, as this will only reinforce their opposition. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the highest form of motivation is not worldly gain but the sincere intention to please Allah Almighty. A child’s rejection of rewards can be a starting point for this deeper conversation. 

From External Rewards to Internal Drive 

True growth and guidance come from striving for a higher purpose, not just for immediate, tangible rewards. This is a core principle for building a resilient character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verses 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’ 

This verse reminds both parents and children that the effort itself is what brings one closer to God, regardless of the worldly outcome. 

Teach the Value of Sincere Intention 

The foundation of all actions in Islam is the intention behind them. This is the most powerful motivator of all. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are judged by intentions, and every person will get the reward according to what he intended.’ 

This profound hadith shifts the focus entirely from external results to internal sincerity. You can use this moment to guide your child toward recognising the value of effort, honesty, and responsibility as acts of faith. By connecting their motivation to this higher purpose, they learn that their worth is tied to their character and sincerity—qualities that endure far beyond any temporary prize.