How to Support Your Child When Family Dismisses Their Emotions 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be deeply frustrating to raise an emotionally aware child in a family environment that prizes toughness over tenderness. You might encourage your child to share their feelings, only for a relative to say, ‘Stop crying and be strong,’ or ‘It is not that serious.’ This can leave your child confused, caught between your voice, which invites openness, and theirs, which silences it. The key is not to control your relatives, but to anchor your child’s emotional safety in the consistency of your own home. 

Be Your Child’s Emotional Anchor 

Children learn emotional literacy through steady and reliable responses. Even if a relative dismisses their feelings, your calm reaction can reassure your child that their emotions are valid. Afterwards, in private, you might say, ‘I saw that what they said hurt your feelings. It is okay to feel upset. Some people just do not know how to show they care in other ways.’ This helps your child understand that different adults communicate differently, but emotions themselves are never wrong. 

Model Calm Confidence, Not Conflict 

When a family member dismisses your child’s emotions in front of you, it is best to avoid a public correction. Children pay close attention to how you handle these moments. Instead of arguing, you can gently redirect the conversation: ‘Thank you for your concern. I think they just need a moment to feel calm again.’ This approach preserves respect while quietly reaffirming your parenting values. If necessary, you can speak to the relative privately later. 

Build a Language of Feelings at Home 

Make emotional conversations a natural part of your daily rhythm. Ask questions like, ‘What was the best part of your day?’ or ‘What felt difficult for you today?’ Introduce a rich vocabulary for feelings, including words like ‘worried’, ‘disappointed’, and ‘proud’, to give your child the tools to express themselves. If they hesitate to speak, model openness by sharing your own feelings: ‘I felt anxious before that meeting today, but taking a few deep breaths helped me.’ 

Strengthen Their Emotional Resilience 

When children are around people who dismiss emotions, they need extra reinforcement that being sensitive does not make them weak. You can tell them, ‘Feeling things deeply is a strength. It means your heart is alive and caring.’ Over time, they will learn to balance empathy with resilience, understanding others’ perspectives while staying rooted in their own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam does not ask us to suppress our emotions. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ displayed tears, joy, and grief openly, always with balance and humility. A child who learns that their feelings are not flaws but reflections of a compassionate heart grows up closer to this prophetic example. 

The Divine Command for Family Love 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 23: 

‘…Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “I do not ask from you any reward (for bringing this message to you) except that you should (sincerely) love those people who are near to you…”.’ 

This verse reminds us that love within families is something to be nurtured, not silenced. Emotional care, which includes listening, comforting, and showing mercy, is a vital part of that love. When extended family members struggle to express empathy, it is often due to a lack of emotional awareness rather than a defiance of faith. By embodying gentleness yourself, you fulfil this Quranic command to maintain affection. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Example of Mercy 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 355, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy to our young ones or acknowledge the honour of our elders is not of us.’ 

This teaches us that empathy is at the core of the prophetic character. To ‘show mercy to our young ones’ includes allowing them to express their feelings in a safe environment. When a parent listens patiently and comforts gently, they reflect this mercy in their home. 

Your calm compassion becomes your child’s shield. They will encounter many voices, some encouraging and others dismissive, but they will always return to the warmth of yours. When you model kindness, even towards relatives who misunderstand, you demonstrate faith in action. 

Over time, your child will learn not to measure their emotions by the reactions of others but by their alignment with truth and goodness. They will discover that Islam honours both strength and softness. Your home, shaped by faith and empathy, becomes a sanctuary where their heart is seen and heard, reminding them that validating feelings is not indulgence, but the very mercy the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ embodied.