What should I do if my child dismisses praise with “it was nothing”? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child dismisses praise with a phrase like, ‘it was nothing,’ it often reflects discomfort with being the centre of attention, a fear of future pressure, or a habit of undervaluing their own contributions. Instead of offering more elaborate compliments, the goal should be to normalise recognition and gently teach them that their efforts hold value. 

Normalise Praise Without Overdoing It 

It is important to respond calmly, without turning their dismissal into a significant issue. You could say, ‘It may feel small to you, but I truly appreciated it,’ or ‘Sometimes, what feels like a little thing can mean a lot to someone else.’ This approach reassures them without creating an uncomfortable spotlight they may wish to escape. 

Teach Humility Without Self-Dismissal 

Help them to understand that true humility is different from denying their own good actions. If they share something, tidy their room, or help a sibling, they affirm that their contribution matters. Use gentle language such as, ‘Your kindness made a real difference today,’ which recognises their action without exaggeration. Over time, these consistent reminders can build a healthier balance between humility and self-worth, encouraging them to see their contributions as meaningful but not boastful. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, acknowledging goodness in oneself is not an act of pride but an expression of gratitude. Teaching a child that recognising their own effort is a way of thanking Allah Almighty can fundamentally transform how they respond to praise. 

Acknowledging Blessings as Gratitude 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 7: 

‘And (remember) when your Sustainer made this declaration; (saying that): “If you show gratitude, I (Allah Almighty) will indeed, amplify them for you (provisions and sustenance)…”.‘ 

This verse teaches that recognising blessings and efforts, even small ones, is an act of gratitude that leads to further growth. Parents can gently remind children that by dismissing their own good deeds, they may miss an opportunity to thank Allah Almighty for enabling them to do good. 

The Prophetic View on Valuing Good Deeds 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 121, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’ 

This hadith reminds us that no good action is too small to be meaningful. Teaching children to accept appreciation, even for what seems like a ‘little’ thing, helps them understand that every act of goodness has value before Allah Almighty. By framing praise as an act of shared gratitude, parents can gently shift their child’s response from dismissal to humble acknowledgment.