What is a fair response when favourite items are repeatedly snatched? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child constantly grabs a sibling’s favourite toy or book, the result is predictable, with tears, shouting, and angry accusations of, ‘That is mine!’ You may find yourself stepping in over and over again, unsure of whether to punish the child, enforce sharing, or confiscate the item altogether. Repeated snatching is not only about greed; it is about control, impulse, and emotional security. The child who snatches is often expressing a need, perhaps for ownership, power, or connection, in a clumsy and physical way. The aim is to teach respect for the boundaries of others, while nurturing empathy and self restraint. 

Establish Clear Boundaries of Ownership 

Start by affirming what belongs to whom. Children feel safer when limits are clearly defined. 

‘This belongs to your sister, and she decides when to share it. You have your own things that belong just to you.’ 

This helps both children to see fairness as a structure, not as favouritism. Allowing a child to have their own things does not breed selfishness; it builds respect for personal space, which is the foundation of true generosity. 

Explore the Motive Behind the Behaviour 

Frequent snatching may stem from jealousy, boredom, or a desire for attention. Gently explore what is behind the behaviour. 

‘You keep taking your brother’s toy. Is it because you really like it, or because you want him to play with you?’ 

Understanding the motive helps you to address the need, rather than just the symptom. If the snatching is about gaining attention, ensure that both children get moments of connection with you separately each day. 

Implement Calm and Consistent Consequences 

When the behaviour happens again, respond immediately but without anger. 

‘You have taken it again after we agreed that you would not. It is time for the toy to be put away for a while.’ 

Remove the item for a set period of time. The message should be steady and not harsh, showing that actions have predictable outcomes. Avoid emotional lectures; let the calm consequence do the teaching. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches respect for the rights and possessions of others as an essential expression of iman, or faith. Learning not to take what belongs to another, even in childhood play, helps to shape the qualities of honesty, empathy, and discipline. Teaching fairness in small, everyday moments plants the seeds of the justice that Islam so deeply values. 

Respecting Others’ Rights in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mutaffifeen (83), Verses 1-3: 

‘Woe be to those fraudsters (who shortchange people in their material dealings). Those people when they account (for receipts) from people, they demand it in full. And when they account (for debts) upon them, or (they have to pay) by weight, they cause a loss (to the other).’ 

This verse powerfully reminds us that fairness must be mutual; we cannot take fully from others while giving less in return. Teaching your child not to snatch mirrors this principle of balance and justice. It shows them that fairness is a divine command, not just a family rule. 

Justice and Compassion in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This Hadith perfectly captures the spiritual heart of fairness between siblings. When you help your child to understand that kindness means wanting peace for others, not just possession for oneself, you are teaching them iman in practice. Every time they choose to respect another’s belongings, they are living the Prophet’s ﷺ teaching of empathy and moral beauty. 

When favourite items keep being snatched, fairness does not mean punishing a child more harshly; it means teaching them more deeply. Through calm consistency, clear boundaries, and guided empathy, you can transform sibling rivalry into mutual understanding. Spiritually, each lesson in fairness mirrors divine justice. When your children learn to respect what belongs to another, they are learning how to live as trustworthy believers.