How do I support a child who keeps being sent out of assembly for whispering? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child is repeatedly sent out of assembly for whispering, it can feel disheartening, especially when you know that they are not being malicious, just chatty or restless. Assemblies are long, formal, and often quiet, the exact environment that can test a child’s impulse control and self regulation. The goal is not to shame them for their restlessness, but to teach them attentiveness, respect for the occasion, and an awareness of their surroundings. 

Understand the Reason for the Whispering 

Children whisper in assemblies for many reasons. They may feel bored, be overstimulated by the crowd, or simply be unable to sit still and remain silent for a long period of time. The behaviour is often impulsive, not an act of intentional disobedience. Before you correct your child, try to explore what is happening. 

‘What is it that makes it hard for you to stay quiet during assembly?’ 

You may discover that the issue is something as simple as nervous energy, a difficulty in hearing what is being said, or a need to connect with a friend for reassurance. Once you know the reason, your response can be driven by empathy rather than punishment. 

Teach the Skill of Self Regulation 

Remaining silent in a group setting is a learned discipline. Explain to your child that quietness during assembly is not about obedience alone, but about respect and being present in the moment. You can practise short ‘quiet moments’ at home, starting with thirty seconds of stillness and then gradually extending the time. You could make it into a challenge: 

‘Let us see who can stay calm and quiet while I read a few lines from this book.’ 

By rehearsing the skill in a playful way, you can train their focus without tension. Small steps at home can help them to build the patience they need in public settings. 

Link the Behaviour to Respect, Not to Punishment 

Children respond better to rules when they understand why they exist. Explain to your child: 

‘Assemblies are times when we listen, reflect, and show respect to those around us. Whispering can distract other people who are trying to listen.’ 

When you frame the need for quietness as a matter of respect rather than one of control, your child will feel included in the purpose of the occasion, rather than restrained by the rule. 

Spiritual Insight 

Learning to be still and quiet in moments of reflection mirrors a spiritual discipline that is highly valued in Islam. Assemblies, especially those that involve remembrance, reflection, or collective prayer, are opportunities to practise humility, focus, and reverence. Teaching your child to be calm in these moments nurtures not just good manners, but adab, a refined character before Allah Almighty and others. 

Reverence in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 204: 

‘And when the Quran is recited, so listen to it, and pay attention to it, so that you may receive mercy (from Allah Almighty).’ 

This verse reminds us that listening attentively during sacred or reflective moments is a way of inviting mercy. When your child learns to remain silent and attentive during assembly, they are practising this very form of respect. It is the quiet heart that is most able to receive understanding and peace. 

Calm Presence in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 550, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When you come to the prayer and find the people in prostration, then prostrate, but do not hurry; whoever of you catches a rak‘ah has caught the prayer.’ 

This Hadith teaches the importance of being present and composed, entering moments of collective worship with calmness rather than with haste. Teaching your child to settle quietly during assembly reflects this same principle: to be present with dignity and stillness, showing respect for the moment and for the people around them. 

When your child keeps being sent out of assembly, it is not an act of rebellion, but a call for guidance in self control. Your calm coaching can help them to see silence as a strength and attentiveness as an honour. Each time you practise quiet reflection at home, praise their effort, and link stillness to respect, you are not just correcting a behaviour; you are nurturing their adab, their spiritual awareness, and their emotional discipline.