How do I get to eye level and start with their name so they tune in? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child is distracted by a screen or lost in play, you can find yourself repeating instructions that go unheard. Often, the problem is not one of disobedience, but of distance. The simplest way to reconnect is also the most powerful: lower yourself to their level, say their name, and wait for their eyes to meet yours. This small, intentional act can transform everyday interactions from a command into a connection. 

The Power of Eye-Level Connection 

When you stand above a child, they often hear your tone before they can process the meaning of your words; the message can feel like a command rather than an invitation. When you bend or kneel to meet their eyes, however, your presence says, ‘I see you; I am here with you.’ That sense of closeness creates emotional safety, which opens the door to real listening. Instead of calling from across the room, it is more effective to walk over, pause quietly, and gently say their name. 

A Habit of ‘Name First, Instruction Later’ 

Children can learn to associate their name with a feeling of connection, not just correction. To build this positive pattern, it is helpful to: 

• Say their name softly, never as a warning shout. 

• Wait for eye contact before you rush into the instruction. 

• Speak calmly and briefly, using clear, simple directions. 

For example, you could say, ‘Yusuf…’, and then pause before adding, ‘It is time to brush your teeth now.’ This simple rhythm, name, pause, instruction, gives your words a greater presence and power. It is a subtle way of teaching mindfulness and attentiveness to both parent and child. 

Leading with Calm Proximity 

Some parents may worry that kneeling down weakens their authority. In reality, it strengthens it. A calm proximity communicates a quiet confidence, the kind that invites cooperation, not resistance. If your child avoids making eye contact, do not force it. Simply maintain a warm tone and a relaxed posture. Over time, they will learn to associate your closeness with calm guidance, not with confrontation. 

Creating a Family Culture 

You can encourage everyone in your home to practise speaking to each other at eye level and by name. This reinforces the idea that respect begins with acknowledgement. It helps to reduce shouting, strengthen empathy, and build habits of presence that can last into adulthood. When your child responds quickly or looks up straight away, you can notice their effort by saying, ‘Thank you for looking at me when I spoke. That shows respect.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, attentiveness is a part of adab, the refined manners that are a reflection of an inner humility. Meeting someone at eye level and calling them by their name is not just a social grace; it is an expression of the gentleness and sense of equality that is taught by our faith. 

The Humility of Connection in the Quran 

The Quran teaches us that a gentle and humble approach is a way of showing care. When a parent kneels to a child’s level, they are mirroring this beautiful Quranic image: an authority that is tempered with mercy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shua‘raa (26), Verse 215: 

‘And spread your wings of your mercy, for those people that follow you from the believers.’ 

This turns an act of guidance into a shared moment of compassion. 

The Prophetic Example of Full Presence 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that gentleness beautifies every interaction and is a source of all goodness. This is a powerful principle for a parent to remember. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gentleness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.’ 

When you get down to your child’s level, you are mirroring a prophetic adab, a state of presence, respect, and sincere engagement that beautifies the moment of connection. 

Over time, your child can begin to mirror this beautiful manner, pausing before they speak and listening with their whole face. What begins as a simple parenting strategy can become a form of spiritual refinement for the whole family, a way of learning that guidance travels best not through power or noise, but through calm eyes, a kind voice, and a name that is spoken with love.