How do I prevent ‘He interrupted me, so I interrupt too’? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children interrupt each other in retaliation, they are often signalling two fears at once: ‘I will not be heard unless I grab the floor,’ and ‘The adults here will not keep this fair.’ Your task is to replace this tit-for-tat reflex with a reliable, visible system that guarantees turns, honours feelings, and restores calm even when tempers rise. 

Establish a Fairness Routine 

Introduce a simple routine that you use every time an argument begins. You can say, ‘We take turns. One person speaks, and the other listens. Then we swap.’ It can be helpful to use a talking token, such as a soft ball or a wooden spoon. Only the person holding the token is allowed to speak. Keep the turns short at first, perhaps only twenty or thirty seconds. After each turn, you can offer a one-line mirror of what you heard: ‘So, you felt ignored when your idea was skipped.’ This summary proves that they have been heard, which lowers the urge to interrupt the next turn. 

Coach a Habit for Self-Control 

You can coach your child in a simple four-step habit to manage their impulse to interrupt: 

• Pause: Plant their feet firmly on the ground. 

• Hand: Raise a hand or touch the talking token. 

• Breathe: Take one slow breath to cool their voice. 

• Speak: Use only two sentences to make their point. 

Practise this sequence during calm moments so it becomes an automatic response during a conflict. Remember to praise the process, not the personality: ‘You paused and waited. That shows real self-control.’ 

Use Scripts to Prevent Escalation 

You can offer your children simple scripts that help to stop the chain of interruptions without causing shame. 

• To the interrupter: ‘I will hear you in just one minute. Please hold that thought.’ 

• To the speaker: ‘Finish your two sentences, and then you can pass the token.’ 

• To both: ‘We have a new rule: no replies until you can repeat one line of what you heard.’ 

This reflect-then-reply rule slows down the conversation and turns a competition into an exercise in understanding. 

Make the Path to Being Heard Obvious 

You can create a ‘parking pad’ for ideas. Each child can have a sticky note to write down one key point while they are waiting. Knowing their thought has been ‘saved’ reduces the panic that so often fuels an interruption. With older children, you can use a two-sentence frame: the first sentence expresses their feeling, and the second is their request. For example, ‘I felt left out. Please let me finish my idea.’ 

When you keep the rules short, visible, and consistent, your children will discover that they do not need to fight for the floor. They will learn that fairness is not random, but is built through calm turn-taking and reflection. 

Spiritual Insight 

Retaliatory interruption is a small mirror of a much larger human habit: when we are hurt, we often rush to repay the hurt, not to repair the connection. Islam trains the heart to choose measured speech, to make room for others, and to lift our conversations towards what is best. Your family’s routine can become a daily lesson in mercy and restraint, shaped by faith. 

Gentle Leadership that Breaks the Cycle 

The Quran reminds us that gentle guidance is what keeps people close, while harshness can scatter their hearts. When you slow down arguments, mirror your children’s feelings, and create a structure for taking turns, you are practising this Quranic mercy in miniature. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

Your calm, consistent leadership interrupts the cycle of retaliation and helps to build a culture of mutual regard in your home. 

Creating a Family Safe from the Tongue 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that true safety in a community begins with the tongue. Training your siblings to wait, to reflect a line before replying, and to keep to their two sentences makes your home a place where everyone feels safe from sharp speech. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4995, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe.’ 

This is not a call for silence, but for a disciplined and beautiful kindness in the way we speak to one another. 

Retaliation thrives where there is a fear of not being heard. Your fairness routine can tell each of your children, ‘Your turn is guaranteed. Your words will land.’ The talking token, the two-sentence frame, and your one-line summaries create clear lanes where their voices can travel without collisions. In time, your children will discover that being understood arrives faster through patience than through volume. 

Spiritually, these moments are weaving their character. You are teaching them that mercy is stronger than impulse, that measured speech is an act of worship, and that honouring another’s turn is a way of honouring Allah, who hears us all. As this gentle rhythm settles into your home, the sound will begin to change. Disagreements will still happen, but they will travel along gentler roads, where every child knows their voice matters, and every voice learns to make room for the other, for the sake of Allah Almighty.