What is a calm way to teach turn-taking in after-school clubs? 

Parenting Perspective 

After-school clubs are often lively places, full of energy and with less structure than a classroom. When your child struggles with turn-taking by jumping ahead, grabbing materials, or interrupting their peers, it usually stems from excitement or a need to feel included, not from selfishness. A calm approach can transform these moments into opportunities to build emotional intelligence, teamwork, and social grace. 

See the Enthusiasm, Not Just the Behaviour 

When children rush ahead, it is rarely a case of disobedience; it is simply eagerness. They are learning how to balance their own joy with an awareness of others. By seeing their enthusiasm instead of misbehaviour, you can respond in a way that provides direction without causing shame. 

Explain Why Turn-Taking Matters 

Children are more likely to cooperate when they understand the reason behind a rule. You could say to them: 

‘When we take turns, everyone gets a fair chance, and people enjoy playing with us more.’ 

Linking patience to friendship helps them to see that good manners are not restrictions, but bridges to a sense of belonging. 

Practise Turn-Taking Through Play 

Before the next club session, you can practise at home using simple activities like board games or even just passing a ball. Narrate the process out loud: ‘It is your turn now, and then it will be mine.’ This helps to build a rhythm of fairness in a light-hearted way. When you praise your child for waiting, you reinforce the idea that turn-taking feels rewarding. 

Create a Simple Script for Group Settings 

Give your child some calm words they can use when they feel impatient. 

• ‘I will wait for my turn.’ 

• ‘I can go next when they have finished.’ 

Role-playing these phrases together can make it easier for your child to manage the moment in a busy and stimulating environment. 

Partner with the Club Leader 

Let the instructor know that you are practising turn-taking at home and would appreciate some gentle reinforcement during the club’s activities. Most leaders are happy to support social skills development when they are approached in a constructive way. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Patience 

When your child shares a positive story, even a small one, you can highlight the connection between their patience and their success. 

‘You waited for your turn, and you still got to play. That shows real teamwork.’ 

Children remember emotional praise for longer than they do verbal correction. 

Model Calm Turn-Taking Yourself 

When your child interrupts you or tries to go first, it is important to respond with steadiness. 

‘It is my turn now, and then it will be yours.’ 

Children learn more from your tone than from any lecture. When you model an unhurried fairness, they begin to absorb patience as a part of their own emotional rhythm. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a deep emphasis on good manners (adab) in all our interactions, which includes giving others their due share of time, space, and attention. Teaching your child to take turns is a part of nurturing a sense of fairness (adl) and patience (sabr), two qualities that reflect a strong faith and a beautiful character. 

Justice and Fair Dealing in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘ Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This verse reminds us that harmony among believers is maintained through fairness, respect, and patience. When your child learns to take turns calmly, they are practising this spirit of harmony, creating peace in their small, daily interactions. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Teaching on Giving Others Their Due 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 3073, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Give everyone who has a right his due’ 

This hadith highlights that justice applies even in our everyday actions, including waiting, sharing, and letting others go first. When your child takes their turn in an after-school club, they are acting out fairness in its simplest form. This teaches them that good character is not shown only in grand gestures, but also in the quiet moments where patience is shown to honour others. 

Turn-taking is not just about waiting; it is about awareness, respect, and emotional maturity. Each time your child pauses to let someone else go first, they are learning cooperation, humility, and empathy. 

Over time, your gentle guidance will help them to realise that fairness is a form of kindness, and that being patient does not mean losing out, but growing up. Through your calm example, your child will learn that a shared joy, not instant attention, is what truly builds friendship and reflects the beauty of the manners that are loved by Allah Almighty.