What can I say when my child cries because I turn the lights off? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is heartbreaking to hear your child cry simply because the lights go out. To a young child, darkness can feel like a vast and frightening unknown. As a parent, you may feel torn between comforting them and insisting that they sleep, but it is possible to be compassionate while still guiding them toward courage and calm. 

The Fear Beneath the Tears 

A child’s fear of the dark is not an act of defiance, but a sign of their vulnerability. Their imagination is still developing, and in the absence of light, ordinary shadows can take on a life of their own. Their brain does not yet clearly separate imagination from reality. Understanding this helps you to see their crying not as manipulation, but as a genuine plea for reassurance. The goal is not to remove their discomfort entirely, but to gently build their sense of safety, teaching them that fear is manageable. 

Using Reassuring Language 

Your tone of voice matters more than your words, but what you say can still offer deep comfort. It is best to avoid dismissive statements like, ‘There is nothing to be scared of.’ Instead, offer a calm confidence through your words. 

• ‘I understand you feel scared right now. I am nearby, and you are perfectly safe.’ 

• ‘The room is dark, but Allah Almighty is watching over you always.’ 

• ‘Let us say our bedtime dua together, and then we can close our eyes slowly.’ 

• ‘You can keep the nightlight on if you like, and I will check on you again very soon.’ 

These phrases acknowledge their emotion without amplifying it. They balance empathy with assurance, helping your child to feel seen but not ruled by their fear. 

Building Comfort Gradually 

If your child’s fear is strong, a gradual approach can be very helpful. You might begin by using a soft nightlight or keeping the door slightly ajar. Over time, you can slowly dim the light or shorten the time it remains on. Creating a bedtime ritual that signals security, such as reciting a short prayer or reading a story, can also transform the feeling of the room from one of isolation to one of peace. 

The Power of Your Calmness 

Children often borrow their sense of calm from their parents. If you show frustration, their fear will only deepen. However, if you exude a quiet confidence by speaking gently and moving slowly, they will feel your peace. This teaches them that darkness is not something to be defeated, but something to be understood. Over time, your patience becomes their courage, and they learn that both light and darkness can be safe when they are approached with trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guiding your child through their fear is a quiet act of worship. Your calm reassurance, paired with words of remembrance, can transform their fear into a foundational faith. 

Finding Security in the Divine Presence 

The Quran reminds us that true peace of heart comes not from the absence of darkness, but from the presence of faith. When you teach your child that Allah Almighty is always near, even when the lights are off, you plant a lasting seed of security in their heart that no lamp can provide. The child who learns to whisper, ‘Allah is with me’ in the dark is learning the deepest kind of courage. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yunus (10), Verse 62: 

‘Unquestionably, indeed, those (people) that are the Friends of Allah (Almighty), no fear shall overcome them, and neither shall they grieve.’ 

Guidance Through Prophetic Gentleness 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that kindness should be at the heart of every interaction, especially when fear or tears are present. When your child cries in the dark and you respond with gentleness instead of frustration, you are embodying the very character that Allah Almighty loves most. Your calm tone and reassuring words are a reflection of divine kindness in action. 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 902, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Verily, Allah is kind and loves kindness in all matters.’ 

Through your compassion, your child learns that safety is found not just in light, but in a love that mirrors the mercy Allah Almighty places between a parent and a child. Every night you guide them gently into sleep, you are teaching them that while the light may fade, divine protection never does.