What is a simple daily check-in to track if the situation is getting better? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child has faced bullying or emotional distress at school, their progress rarely happens in dramatic leaps. Instead, it unfolds in small, almost invisible shifts: a lighter step, an easier morning, or a story shared at dinner. To notice these signs, you need a gentle daily check-in, not an interrogation, but a quiet rhythm of connection. This routine can help you to understand whether your child’s emotional state is improving or if they are struggling again. It is not about measuring perfection, but about staying attuned to their needs without applying pressure. 

Keep the Check-In Predictable and Brief 

Children are more likely to open up in an atmosphere of safety, not surprise. It is best to choose a fixed, relaxed time each day, such as the walk home from school, during dinner, or at bedtime. Ask a simple and consistent question: 

• ‘How was your heart today?’ 

• ‘Was it a heavy day or a lighter one?’ 

• ‘What part of school felt the safest for you today?’ 

These questions are softer than, ‘Was anyone mean to you?’ and can invite more honesty. The consistency of your check-in communicates a powerful message: ‘I am here for you, no matter what the answer is.’ 

Focus on Feelings, Not Incidents 

Instead of conducting a daily analysis of what went wrong, help your child to notice their own emotional trends. You could ask: 

• ‘When did you feel calm today?’ 

• ‘Was there a moment that made you smile?’ 

• ‘Did anything feel tricky, even for a short while?’ 

Tracking their feelings helps to build self-awareness and allows you both to recognise small improvements, such as fewer anxious mornings, more laughter, or a greater willingness to talk. 

Use a Simple Code or Signal 

Younger or more private children might find direct questions difficult to answer. In these cases, you could try a simple code that is easy for them to use: 

• The ‘Traffic Light’ Method: Green can mean, ‘I felt okay today,’ amber can mean, ‘Some parts were hard,’ and red can mean, ‘It was a really rough day.’ 

• The ‘One Word’ Method: Ask them for a single word to describe their day, such as calm, tense, lonely, brave, or better. 

Over time, patterns will emerge. A run of green days shows healing, while repeated red days may call for a follow-up. 

Encourage Reflection, Not Pressure 

Avoid evaluating your child’s answers with either praise or alarm. Simply reflect their words back to them by saying, ‘Thank you for telling me,’ or, ‘That sounds like it took a lot of courage.’ Your calm neutrality makes the check-in feel safe, not like a test. Children will share more when they sense that you can hold the truth of their experience without panicking. 

End with a Grounding Ritual 

After you have listened, it is important to close the conversation with a sense of peace. A hug, a duʿa recited together, or a shared deep breath can signal to your child that you are ending the day in a state of safety. You might say, ‘Whatever happened today, it is behind us now. Tomorrow is a new start, insha’Allah.’ Over time, this rhythm can train their nervous system to associate the evenings with release, not with replaying the day’s events. 

Daily check-ins are not about control; they are about companionship. You are teaching your child that their healing can be tracked not through fear, but through faith and your steady presence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages a regular practice of self-reflection, or muhasabah, as a way to purify the heart and grow in awareness. Your daily check-in with your child mirrors this practice, helping them to notice their inner shifts, seek the help of Allah, and recognise their progress with gratitude. Even small improvements are a sign of divine mercy unfolding quietly. 

Reflection and Renewal in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 18: 

‘All those of you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty); and let every person anticipate (the consequences of) what they have sent forth (in the Hereafter) for the next day…’ 

This verse calls us to a form of gentle accountability, which is rooted in awareness, not punishment. By helping your child to ‘look to tomorrow,’ you are teaching them a form of spiritual reflection: understanding their feelings, learning from each day, and trusting in the wisdom of Allah’s plan for their growth. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Habit of Heart Awareness 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 66, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The wise man is he who محاسبة (has an account of) himself and does deeds for what is after death; and the foolish man is he who follows his evil inclinations and desires and lives on false hopes, expecting favours from Allah.’ 

This teaches us that self-awareness, the act of pausing to review one’s heart and behaviour, is a mark of both intelligence and faith. When your child learns to reflect on their day, they are not just tracking their progress in healing; they are cultivating a mindfulness that will serve them for the rest of their lives. 

A simple daily check-in can become one of the most powerful acts of parenting. It tells your child in a quiet but consistent way: ‘Your inner world matters.’ 

Through this rhythm of calm compassion, you turn a brief evening question into an act of emotional safety. Over time, these few quiet minutes will teach your child how to read their own heart, how to recognise both their struggles and their strengths, and how to find peace in knowing that every small step forward is seen, counted, and blessed by Allah Almighty.