How do we plan safe spaces and safe people for the school day? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child feels unsafe at school, whether due to bullying, social exclusion, or unpredictable dynamics, the anxiety does not disappear when the bell rings. It sits quietly beneath their behaviour, shaping how they walk, sit, and speak. Building a ‘safety plan’ of trusted spaces and people allows your child to move through the day knowing that help is nearby. This is not about overprotection; it is about teaching strategic confidence, helping them to feel capable, not fearful, of facing the school day. 

Mapping the School Day Together 

Sit with your child after school or during a quiet weekend and go through their day in small, manageable pieces: arrival, lessons, lunch, break times, and the journey home. Ask them: 

• ‘Which parts of the day feel the hardest?’ 

• ‘Where do you feel calmer?’ 

Let them guide the conversation. When children see that you are analysing the day with them, not for them, they begin to regain a sense of control. 

Identifying ‘Safe Spaces’ Within the School 

Once you know where their distress peaks, you can identify alternative areas where they can take a moment to breathe. This might be a library corner, a particular teacher’s classroom, a prayer space, or the nurse’s office. It is a good idea to seek agreement from the school that your child may go to one of these places if their anxiety spikes. Emphasise to the staff that this is not an act of avoidance, but one of self-regulation, a way for your child to calm down before re-entering a class composed. 

You can tell your child, ‘Everyone needs a place to steady themselves. This can be yours.’ Knowing they have a calm destination can stop their fear from spiralling into panic. 

Identifying ‘Safe People’ They Can Approach 

Safe people are adults who will listen without judgement, such as a trusted teacher, a school counsellor, or a member of the pastoral team. Discuss these choices openly with your child: 

• ‘Who seems kind to you at school?’ 

• ‘Who looks calm, even when things get busy?’ 

Let your child choose who they feel most comfortable with. Then, you can contact those adults privately, explain your child’s situation, and request their quiet support. Often, a simple greeting by name from a teacher can transform the emotional climate of the day for a child. 

Teaching Them How to Ask for Help 

Children often know who they can turn to but may not know how to ask for help. It can be useful to practise short, simple scripts they can use: 

• ‘I need a quiet space for a minute.’ 

• ‘Can I please talk to you after class?’ 

• ‘Is it okay if I stay near you during break time?’ 

Role-playing these lines calmly at home can reduce the paralysis that fear often creates in the moment. 

Building a Routine Anchored in Safety 

A strong sense of predictability can strengthen a child’s feeling of security. A steady morning ritual, a reassuring goodbye, and a quiet check-in after school can provide a sense of stability that helps to balance the uncertainty they may feel at school. It reminds them that they have solid ground to return to. 

A safety plan is like a temporary scaffold that allows a child’s confidence to rebuild. As your child begins to feel more secure, these supports can naturally fade away. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a deep value on the concept of sanctuary (aman), referring to spaces and relationships where the heart can find ease. The home, the masjid, and kind companionship are all described in the Quran as sources of tranquillity. Creating safe spaces and identifying safe people for your child mirrors this divine model of protecting trust, honour, and emotional peace. 

Creating a Sanctuary in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 80: 

‘And Allah (Almighty) has designated for you, a resting place within your homes…’ 

This verse teaches that safety and calm are blessings from Allah, not luxuries. Extending that sense of calm beyond the home and into your child’s school life is a fulfilment of your parental duty of amanah (care). When you ensure your child has a place of refuge, you are reflecting the mercy that Allah provides for every believer. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Guidance on Being a Source of Safety 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4995, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe, and the believer is the one whom the people trust with their lives and wealth.’ 

This hadith teaches us that true faith is expressed through our ability to make others feel safe. By helping your child to find safe people, and by encouraging teachers to model this prophetic gentleness, you are nurturing a culture of trust that echoes the Prophet’s ﷺ own way of caring for others. 

When your child is afraid of going to school, a safety plan is not an act of control, but of compassion in action. You are building bridges where fear has built walls. 

By mapping their day, naming their allies, and anchoring their routines in calm and prayer, you teach your child that security is not the absence of a challenge, but the certainty of care, both human and divine. 

Over time, those safe spaces can become stepping stones to greater confidence, until your child is able to walk through the same hallways that once frightened them, not alone, but grounded in peace, protected by faith, and surrounded by mercy.