How do we handle exclusion from a private online group made for the class? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child discovers they have been excluded from a class group, whether on WhatsApp, Snapchat, or another platform, it can feel like a particularly sharp form of rejection. Digital exclusion is not just about missing messages; it is about being left out of a sense of belonging. Every notification from another person’s phone can become a quiet reminder of being unseen. As a parent, you may feel helpless, as you cannot force others to include your child. However, you can help them to reclaim their confidence, perspective, and self-worth. The aim is not to chase inclusion, but to teach resilience and self-assurance grounded in faith and dignity. 

Begin with Compassion, Not Correction 

When your child tells you, ‘They made a group and did not add me,’ resist the urge to use phrases like, ‘Do not take it personally,’ or, ‘You do not need them anyway.’ To a child, this experience feels intensely personal. You must start with empathy: 

• ‘That must have felt very painful.’ 

• ‘You have every right to feel left out; anyone would in your position.’ 

Validation does not indulge weakness; it acknowledges a person’s humanity. When you name the pain, you help it to lose its sting. 

Reframe the Meaning of Belonging 

Gently explain that being left out does not mean being less worthy. Some groups are formed on impulse or peer pressure, not on the basis of true friendship. You can tell your child, ‘A good circle of friends is not about how many people include you, but about how many respect you.’ Remind them that true dignity sometimes means not belonging in spaces where their values do not align. This shift in perspective can help your child see that while exclusion may hurt now, it might be protecting them from shallow friendships in the long run. 

Avoid Retaliation or Public Reaction 

Do not message the group administrator or other parents in anger, as this can embarrass your child and worsen the situation. Instead, if the group is being used for classwork or official coordination, you can discuss the matter discreetly with a teacher, explaining that the exclusion is affecting communication. The focus should be on fairness, not blame. If the group is purely social, guide your child to rise above the need for validation. Encourage them to create or join a smaller, kinder circle with genuine friends. Rebuilding belonging on their own terms is a powerful way to restore confidence. 

Strengthen Offline Connections 

Digital exclusion can feel absolute, but real-world friendships can soften its edges. Arrange meaningful in-person interactions, such as inviting a friend over, volunteering, or spending time with family. The more your child experiences genuine connection, the less power the digital exclusion will hold. Remind them: ‘People who truly care about you do not need a group chat to prove it.’ 

Celebrate the Right Circle 

When your child eventually finds a space where they feel valued, whether online or offline, celebrate it with them. You can say, ‘You see, real friends make space for you naturally.’ This helps them to internalise the truth that healthy belonging is earned through kindness, not popularity. 

Exclusion feels like rejection, but when it is handled wisely, it can become a profound life lesson: that true peace lies not in being invited everywhere, but in knowing that you belong within yourself. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a believer’s worth is never measured by social circles, but by their sincerity, character, and closeness to Allah Almighty. Being excluded unjustly can be painful, but it is also an opportunity to practise sabr (patience) and izzah (dignified honour). When you help your child to view exclusion through the lens of faith, you teach them to seek acceptance from Allah before anyone else. 

Dignity and Self-Worth in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Munafiqoon (63), Verse 8: 

‘“…But (the reality is that) all respect is for Allah (Almighty) and His Messengers and for the believers; even though the hypocrites (pretend that) they do not know it”.’ 

This verse reminds us that true honour and belonging are not in the hands of people; they are granted by Allah Almighty. Teaching this to your child helps them to understand that being left out of a group does not diminish their worth in any way. The company of Allah is better than the crowd of the careless. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Teaching on Brotherhood and Compassion 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2586, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever.’ 

This hadith teaches us that exclusion contradicts the very spirit of Islamic brotherhood. A believer should never make another feel unseen or unwanted. Sharing this with your child can gently remind them that those who cause hurt through exclusion are the ones who are distant from the prophetic character, not the one who has been excluded. 

When your child faces digital exclusion, your calm wisdom becomes their protection. You are teaching them that their self-worth does not come from being invited into a group, but from being valued by Allah and by those who have sincere hearts. 

Over time, they will learn to walk through the digital world with a quiet confidence, unshaken by exclusion and anchored in faith. 

One day, when they build their own groups, they will remember what it felt like to be left out, and they will ensure that everyone feels seen, valued, and welcomed. That empathy, born of pain and shaped by faith, will become the hallmark of their character.