What should I do when another parent dismisses our complaint as “kids being kids”? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few things frustrate parents more than trying to address hurtful behaviour only to be brushed off with, “They’re just being kids.” That phrase can feel like a door closing on your child’s experience. When another parent refuses to take your concern seriously, your challenge is to stay calm, advocate clearly, and model the integrity you want your child to learn — all without creating unnecessary conflict. 

The goal is not to win an argument, but to protect your child’s dignity and reinforce that respectful boundaries matter, even when others minimise them. 

Step One: Validate Your Child’s Feelings 

Before approaching anyone, start with your child. If they come home upset, resist responding with anger at the other family. Instead, listen fully: 

“That sounded really upsetting. You were right to tell me.” 

This affirmation helps your child feel heard. When they see you respond with calm rather than outrage, they learn that boundaries can be defended with grace. 

Step Two: Approach the Parent Privately and Calmly 

If you decide to speak to the other parent, choose a moment away from children and other adults. Begin with neutrality: 

“I wanted to mention something small that happened between the kids. I’m sure they didn’t mean harm, but my child was quite upset.” 

Framing it as a shared concern rather than an accusation reduces defensiveness. If they respond dismissively with “Kids are just being kids,” keep your tone steady: 

“I understand children can argue, but this situation really affected mine. I’d like us both to help them handle it kindly next time.” 

This gently insists on accountability without hostility. 

Step Three: Avoid Arguing or Matching Tone 

If the parent becomes defensive or sarcastic, resist being pulled into debate. You might simply reply: 

“I appreciate your time. I just wanted to share how it felt from our side.” 

Then disengage. Your calm exit preserves your dignity and prevents the situation from escalating in front of others. 

Step Four: Reassure Your Child Afterwards 

Explain that some adults struggle to admit when their children have caused hurt, but that doesn’t make the hurt any less real. Say: 

“You did the right thing by speaking up. Not everyone listens well, but we always stand for kindness.” 

This restores trust — your child learns that speaking up is still worthwhile, even if others don’t respond perfectly. 

Step Five: Refocus on What You Can Control 

You cannot change the other parent’s attitude, but you can influence how your child recovers. Encourage empathy without excusing bad behaviour: 

“Maybe they don’t realise how serious it felt. But you know better — you’ll handle others more gently because of this.” 

This turns frustration into growth and reminds your child that respect begins at home. 

Step Six: Keep Future Interactions Neutral 

If you encounter the same parent again, stay polite but concise. Avoid rehashing old incidents. Let your actions — steady, courteous, unprovoked — speak louder than words. Children learn resilience best when they watch you hold boundaries without bitterness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches believers to respond to ignorance and denial with patience, not pride. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself faced people who dismissed truth or fairness, yet he met them with composure and dignity. Teaching your child this approach connects them to prophetic character — steadfast, respectful, and calm in adversity. 

Responding to Dismissiveness in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa‘raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach, and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral) actions, and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance.’ 

This verse teaches believers to walk away from denial or mockery with grace, not resentment. When a parent dismisses your words, your composure becomes your strength — an act of silent da’wah (moral example). 

Patience and Self-Control in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4186, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever restrains his anger while being able to act upon it, Allah will call him before all creation and allow him to choose from the maidens of Paradise whomever he wishes.’ 

When another parent dismisses your concern, it can feel invalidating, but your steady conduct will speak volumes to your child. They’ll see that truth doesn’t need loud defence; it stands firm through grace. 

By responding with restraint, you teach your child that dignity is not dependent on others’ understanding. It comes from knowing that Allah Almighty sees the intention behind every word — and that every calm, principled stand is an act of faith, not defeat.