What to Do When a Ringleader Gets Others to Repeat the Same Insult Daily 

Parenting Perspective 

Few situations can erode a child’s confidence more than repeated, organised teasing. When one child, a ringleader, orchestrates insults and encourages others to echo them, it becomes a form of psychological bullying. The words themselves may seem small, but their daily repetition can make a child feel trapped and helpless. Your goal is not to make your child “tougher,” but to restore their sense of power through calm strategy, emotional grounding, and unwavering support. 

Acknowledge the Bullying Pattern 

When your child shares what is happening, it is crucial to acknowledge that this is more than just teasing. You might say: 

“That is not a joke anymore; that is bullying. You are right to feel hurt by it.” 

Naming the behaviour for what it is validates their experience and removes any sense of shame. Children often endure repeated insults quietly because they worry that speaking up will make things worse. Hearing you define it correctly gives them the permission to seek help with confidence. 

Explain the Ringleader’s Goal 

Help your child to understand that the ringleader’s objective is often to gain attention and feel powerful, not to speak the truth. You can explain: 

“They want to feel important by making you react. The moment you stay calm, they lose that power.” 

This insight into the psychology behind the behaviour gives meaning and purpose to the practice of self-control. 

Teach Calm and Disinterested Responses 

Those who orchestrate bullying thrive on the reaction of their target. Equip your child with short, even-toned responses that signal disinterest. 

• “You have said that before.” 

• “That is getting a bit old now.” 

• Or simply, “Okay.” 

Practise these phrases at home until they sound effortless. Teach your child to pair them with relaxed body language: shoulders down, eyes forward, and a steady tone. After speaking, they should walk away without looking back. 

Develop a Strategy for Seeking Help 

Encourage your child to note when and where the teasing happens. Together, you can decide who the most approachable adult at school is, whether it is a teacher, counsellor, or lunchtime supervisor. Then, work out how to explain the issue clearly. 

“They keep repeating the same insult every day, and it is not stopping.” 

Role-playing this conversation can help your child to speak with confidence rather than fear. A quiet, factual report demonstrates maturity and is more likely to prompt effective adult intervention. 

Build Inner Resilience 

Balance the external response strategy with internal growth. Remind your child that mockery says nothing about their true worth. Highlight their positive qualities, such as their kindness, effort, or thoughtfulness, and reinforce the idea that real strength lies in composure, not cruelty. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam forbids mockery and the repetition of insults, and it honours those who respond to hurt with patience and restraint. Teaching your child to maintain their dignity in the face of repeated cruelty connects them to the prophetic model of strength: a calm endurance rooted in faith. 

The Accountability for Words in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 18: 

‘(Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.’ 

This verse can assure your child that every cruel word is known and recorded by Allah Almighty. Justice may not be instant, but nothing escapes His awareness. It is a reminder that choosing patience places them under divine protection and care. 

True Strength in Prophetic Teachings 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by force, but the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

This Hadith perfectly aligns with the struggle your child is facing. When they refuse to react to repeated taunts, they are demonstrating this deeper, spiritual strength. Their restraint becomes an act of faith, not a sign of weakness. 

When your child learns to face organised teasing with composure, they effectively break the bully’s rhythm. Their silence becomes a shield, and their calm response becomes a quiet act of defiance. With your support, they will learn that every insult they resist is a victory of character, proving that dignity cannot be taken, only surrendered. 

Over time, this consistency will shift how they see themselves: not as a target, but as someone who carries their self-respect with a steadiness anchored in faith. Through this calm perseverance, they will find what the Quran calls sabr jameel, a beautiful patience that protects both the heart and their honour.