What do we say when names are mispronounced repeatedly? 

Parenting Perspective 

A child’s name is a fundamental part of their identity; it can carry their family history, their culture, and a great deal of personal meaning. When their name is mispronounced over and over again, a child can be left feeling invisible or disrespected, even if the other person does not mean to cause any harm. Helping them to address the situation in a way that is both kind and confident can teach them how to protect their own sense of dignity without having to resort to anger. 

Teaching Self-Respect Without Encouraging Confrontation 

It is important to begin by saying, ‘Your name matters, and it is okay for you to want it to be said in the proper way.’ You can reassure them that the act of correcting someone is not a rude one; it is an act of self-respect. You can also explain to them that most people do not mispronounce a name in order to be unkind; they may simply be unfamiliar with the name or may be feeling nervous. When your child is able to approach the act of correction with a sense of patience, they can help to build a sense of mutual understanding, rather than defensiveness. 

Coaching Them in How to Make a Gentle and Clear Correction 

You can practise with your child how to correct someone in a warm and gentle way the first or second time they hear their name being said incorrectly. 

• ‘Actually, my name is pronounced [say name slowly].’ 

• ‘You were very close! It is actually pronounced [repeat name clearly].’ 

• ‘I know that it can be a tricky name at first. It is pronounced [give pronunciation].’ 

It is a good idea to encourage a friendly tone of voice, perhaps with a little smile, to help keep the moment feeling light. This approach is able to blend a sense of confidence with a sense of kindness, which can help to keep the conversation feeling dignified. 

Encouraging a Sense of Empathy in Both Directions 

If your child happens to hear the names of other people being mispronounced, you can teach them to model a sense of respect by saying the name correctly themselves, or by gently helping others to do the same. You could say, ‘When you are able to use another person’s name in the proper way, you are helping them to feel seen and valued.’ You can explain to them that our names are not just words; they are symbols of our sense of belonging. This can help them to give that same feeling to other people. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every individual deserves to be honoured, and that our names carry a sense of our dignity. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ always showed his respect for other people by addressing them in the correct way, often by using affectionate or honourable titles. The act of correcting a person’s pronunciation in a gentle way, and of using the names of others in an accurate way, is a part of our adab, the good manners that can help to protect our hearts from any feelings of hurt. 

The Quranic Teaching on the Dignity of Our Identity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘…And do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames; how bad is it to be called by nefarious names after the attainment of faith…’ 

While this verse speaks specifically about the act of mockery and of using offensive nicknames, it also teaches us that our names are intrinsically tied to our sense of respect. The act of deliberately distorting or of neglecting a person’s name is a violation of the spirit of honour that believers should show to one another. 

The Prophetic Example of Showing Love and Affection 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 352, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man loves his brother, let him tell him that he loves him.’ 

Although this hadith speaks directly of the importance of expressing our affection for one another, it also conveys a broader principle, that every person deserves to be addressed with a sense of care, of honour, and of acknowledgement. The act of calling a person by their correct name, or of taking the time to learn how to say it properly, is a quiet but powerful way of expressing that same love and respect. 

Guiding your child to handle the repeated mispronunciation of their name with a sense of kindness can help them to grow into a more confident and a more gentle communicator. They can learn from these experiences that protecting their own identity does not have to require any sense of harshness, only a calm sense of clarity and of self-respect. 

Your own steady reassurance can teach them that every respectful correction can help to build a greater sense of understanding and of dignity between people. Over time, they will come to realise for themselves that insisting on being seen and heard in a proper way is not an act of pride; it is an act of gratitude for the beautiful name that they were given. 

When they are able to say, ‘Actually, it is pronounced like this,’ with a sense of both patience and of grace, they will be quietly practising one of Islam’s most beautiful forms of character: of asserting the truth without any arrogance, and of giving respect even as they are seeking it for themselves.