How do they handle a friend who messages nonstop and gets annoyed at slow replies? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a friend is sending constant messages and is expecting instant replies, your child may be left feeling torn. They may not want to seem rude or distant, and yet they may also feel pressured and anxious as they try to keep up. Helping your child to set some healthy digital boundaries in this situation is an essential part of modern parenting. It can teach them that a true friendship does not mean having constant access to another person; it means having a sense of mutual respect. 

Teaching Digital Balance Without Instilling Guilt 

It is important to start by normalising the feeling for them: ‘It is okay to need a break from your messages sometimes. You do not have to reply to everyone straight away.’ Children can often confuse a sense of constant availability with a sense of loyalty. You can explain to them that a friendship does not live in the speed of our replies, but in the sincerity of our care for the other person. When they are able to understand this, they can begin to stop equating their silence with a form of neglect. 

Helping Them to Respond with Honesty and Calm 

You can teach your child to communicate their expectations in a kind and clear way, before any frustration has a chance to build up. 

• ‘I am sorry that I did not reply to you earlier. I was busy with my homework.’ 

• ‘I cannot always text very much, but I am still your friend.’ 

• ‘I can chat with you later on. Right now, I just need to focus on this.’ 

These statements sound natural and friendly, while also helping to set some clear limits. It is a good idea to encourage your child to use a neutral tone, without an overload of apology and without a need to over-explain themselves. The key to this is consistency. Once these boundaries have been stated in a calm way, they must then be maintained. 

Building Their Awareness of Digital Overload 

You can explain to your child that a constant stream of messaging can become overwhelming for both people. You might say, ‘Our friendships also need some quiet time, otherwise they can start to feel tiring.’ You can encourage your child to mute their group chats during their study time or during family time, without feeling any sense of guilt. They can always return to the chat later on with a sense of warmth, which can help to prove to their friends that their need for space does not mean that they are creating an emotional distance. This can help them to build empathy without a feeling of obligation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us the importance of finding a sense of balance and of calm in all of our relationships, including in our communications with others. A believer’s time, their energy, and their attention are all a form of trust (amanah) from Allah Almighty, and so learning to use them wisely is an important part of developing a good character. 

The Quranic Wisdom on the Virtue of Moderation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).’ 

Although this verse speaks specifically about the act of spending our wealth, its wisdom can be applied in a much broader way, to our time and our attention as well. Just as a believer should aim to be moderate in their use of their wealth, they should also aim to be moderate with their emotional energy. When your child is able to give their friendships their rightful place, without letting them take over their own sense of peace, they are living this beautiful sense of balance. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Friendship and Moderation 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1997, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Love your friend moderately; perhaps one day he will become your enemy. And hate your enemy moderately; perhaps one day he will become your friend.’ 

This hadith teaches us that our relationships are best able to thrive when there is a sense of balance, not one of excess. It reminds us to remain kind in our friendships, but also to be measured in them, not to give every part of ourselves away, even to those for whom we care very deeply. 

When your child is able to learn how to manage these non-stop messages in a calm way, they can discover a deeper lesson, that our love and our friendships can often grow stronger when they are given some space. They can begin to see for themselves that saying, ‘I will reply later,’ is not a form of neglect, but a sign of maturity. 

Your own reassurance in these moments can help them to view their boundaries not as barriers to their friendships, but as bridges to a healthier and more sustainable form of connection. Over time, they will come to realise that a sense of respect in a friendship means allowing both hearts to be able to breathe. 

In doing so, they will be living the beautiful sense of balance that Islam honours, of being mindful in their communication, peaceful in their presence, and sincere in every word that they choose to send.