What is a plan when a friend will not talk to them after a clash? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few things can trouble a child more than being ignored by someone they care about. When a friend stops talking to them after an argument, your child may be left feeling anxious, guilty, or confused, wondering, ‘Did I ruin everything?’, or ‘Should I keep trying to talk to them, or should I just give up?’ This is a tender moment in which you can teach them the art of emotional resilience, of respectful patience, and of reconciliation. Your guidance can help them to navigate the silence without a sense of desperation or of pride, and to be ready to rebuild the trust between them when the time is right.

 

Begin by Understanding the Silence 

It is helpful to start by guiding your child to name what is happening: ‘It seems as though your friend is feeling upset right now, and they might just need some time to themselves.’ This helps to reframe the silence as a need for space, not as an act of personal rejection. You can explain to them that sometimes, after a clash, people need a period of quiet in order to calm their feelings before they are able to talk again. It is a good idea to encourage their sense of empathy rather than allowing them to panic: ‘Imagine if you were feeling really upset about something. You might not want to talk about it straight away either.’ 

Step One: Give the Situation a Little Space 

You can explain to your child that rushing in to try to ‘fix’ the situation immediately can sometimes make things harder. It is better to encourage them to give their friend a short break, perhaps a day or two, to allow their emotions to settle. You could say, ‘Let us just pause for a bit before you try to talk to them again. Sometimes, a sense of calm can help the right words to come more easily.’ During this time, you can help your child to focus on some gentle self-reflection, rather than on their worries about the friendship. 

Step Two: Encourage Them to Reach Out Gently 

Once some time has passed, you can help your child to send a short and kind message to their friend, or to say something in person. 

• ‘I am sorry about what happened. I hope that we can talk again soon.’ 

• ‘I miss hanging out with you. I will be here whenever you are ready to talk.’ 

You can teach them that their tone of voice matters more than the length of their message. A calm and non-demanding message can convey a sense of sincerity and can give the other person the space they may need. 

Step Four: Accept the Outcome with Grace 

It is important to remember that not every friendship will be able to return to what it was before. If the friend remains distant, you can comfort your child by affirming that their effort to make peace is what truly matters: ‘You tried your best to make peace, and that is something to be proud of.’ This teaches them that we are all responsible for our own actions, not for the reactions of other people. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the act of reconciliation (sulh) is considered a noble act, one that can help to restore our hearts and to bring the mercy of Allah Almighty into our lives. A period of silence after a conflict can be painful, but responding to it with patience, humility, and forgiveness is a reflection of the character of a true believer. 

The Spiritual Blessing of Making Peace 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 1: 

‘…So, seek piety from Allah (Almighty), and correct all matters (in the relationships) between yourselves; and obey Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ), if you are true believers.’ 

This verse reminds us that the act of mending our relationships is a sign of a true and sincere faith. When your child is able to take even one small step to apologise, to wait respectfully, or to reach out again to their friend, they are living this beautiful command to choose peace over their own pride. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Restoring Bonds 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6077, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days, and the better of the two is the one who greets the other first.’ 

This hadith offers us both wisdom and a sense of hope. It teaches us that while moments of hurt may happen between us, as believers, we are encouraged to reconcile with each other quickly. It also teaches that the one who is able to make the first move towards peace is considered the better of the two in the sight of Allah. 

When a friend goes silent after a clash, your child’s greatest test is to be able to show patience with a sense of dignity. They are learning that the mending of a friendship can take both time and a great deal of tenderness, and that an act of kindness is at its most meaningful when it is not instantly returned. 

Through your own steady reassurance, they will be able to see that the act of reconciliation is not about control, but about character. Each pause, each gentle message, and each act of patience can become a quiet victory of their compassion over their ego. 

Spiritually, these moments can help to shape a sense of humility, the kind that can earn the mercy of Allah. When your child is able to learn to say, ‘I will wait, I care about this friendship, and I will remain kind,’ they are not losing a friend; they are growing into the kind of person who is able to keep their heart open.