What do I do when loud events overwhelm and they bolt or hide? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child suddenly bolts, hides, or shuts down during a noisy event, such as a wedding, a large gathering at the mosque, a school assembly, or a family celebration, it can leave you feeling alarmed and unsure of how to respond. You may feel embarrassed, worried, or frustrated, especially when others do not understand. However, what is happening inside your child is not defiance or disrespect; it is a case of sensory and emotional overload. Their nervous system feels unsafe, and their ‘flight’ response takes over. 

Your role in these moments is not to make them ‘toughen up’, but to help them to feel safe again, gently and calmly. Over time, you can also teach them how to recognise the early signs of overwhelm so they can self-regulate before reaching that breaking point. 

See the Fear Beneath the Behaviour 

When a child bolts or hides, their brain has shifted into survival mode, and the part responsible for reasoning has temporarily gone offline. They are not thinking, ‘I want to upset my parents’; their instinct is telling them, ‘I need to get away.’ Recognising this helps you to respond with empathy rather than with anger. You can quietly say, ‘It is okay, you are safe now. Let us find somewhere calm together.’ Your tone should be soft, slow, and steady. Loud reassurance, even if it is kindly meant, can feel like more noise to a child who is already overwhelmed. 

Prioritise Safety and Grounding First 

If your child runs, it is important to follow them calmly but quickly. Make sure they are safe before you attempt to talk. Avoid grabbing or scolding them in a panic, as physical restraint can deepen their fear. Once you have found a quiet corner, you can focus on grounding them rather than explaining the situation. Lower your own body to their level, offer gentle physical contact if they accept it, and encourage slow breathing together. Using familiar words of comfort, such as, ‘You are safe. I am here. It is noisy out there, but we are okay here,’ can be very effective. 

Prepare and Plan Before Events 

Children who are sensitive to noise or crowds do best when they are well-prepared. Before leaving home, talk through what will happen and what they can do if it feels like too much. 

• ‘There might be loud music or lots of people talking. If it feels too loud, you can tell me, and we will find a quiet spot.’ 

• Bring along some coping tools, such as soft ear defenders or noise-reducing headphones, a small comfort object, or familiar sounds on headphones. 

• Agree on a non-verbal ‘signal’ they can use, like touching your arm, to let you know they need space without having to speak. 

Debrief Afterwards with Compassion 

Later, once everyone is calm, you can talk gently about what happened. The goal is not to shame them, but to build their self-awareness. You might ask, ‘When the noise became too loud, what did it feel like in your body?’ Encouraging them to name early signals, such as a racing heart or the urge to cover their ears, is the foundation of emotional regulation. Avoid saying things like, ‘You embarrassed me in front of everyone,’ as such comments link their fear to a feeling of shame. Instead, you can affirm their progress: ‘You told me you needed a break, and that was brave. You listened to your body, and that is a good thing.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, every temperament is seen as a part of Allah Almighty’s beautiful and diverse design. A sensitive child who feels the world deeply is not fragile; they are finely tuned to the creation around them. Our task as parents is to nurture that sensitivity with compassion and to teach them how to navigate it wisely. 

Responding with Mercy Before Expectation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Taaha (20), Verse 5: 

‘Then He Who is the Most Beneficent affirmed (as befitting His true Majesty) (the functionality of its existence) over the Arsh (a place of development and administration of the trans-universal existence).‘ 

This verse reminds us that mercy is Allah’s defining attribute. Parenting a sensitive or easily overwhelmed child is a sacred opportunity to embody that mercy. Your calm and patient response mirrors the tenderness that Allah extends to all of His creation, meeting distress with patience, not with punishment. 

The Prophetic Understanding of Children’s Needs 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’ 

When you adjust an environment or soften your tone to meet your child’s sensory needs, you are embodying this profound mercy. You are choosing to nurture with compassion instead of trying to control. 

Once your child is calm, you can gently introduce a spiritual grounding tool. Teach them a short dhikr to whisper when they feel overwhelmed, such as, ‘Hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa Huwa’ (‘Allah is enough for me; there is no god but Him.’) This gives them a sacred anchor, something they can carry with them into any noisy room or anxious moment. By guiding your child through overwhelming moments with mercy, structure, and spiritual grounding, you are not only helping them to manage events, but also showing them that safety, calm, and faith can coexist even in the midst of chaos.