How can I watch for signs that low mood needs extra help? 

Parenting Perspective 

Every child has low days, marked by moments of sadness, tiredness, or disinterest. As a parent, however, you may sometimes wonder if this is just a rough patch, or if there is something deeper going on. The line can feel blurry, and it is natural for worry to creep in. The key is to observe patterns rather than isolated moments, looking for changes in behaviour, energy, and engagement that persist over time. Your role is not to diagnose, but to notice, listen, and guide your child toward the support they may need, gently, early, and with great compassion. 

Look for Patterns, Not Isolated Episodes 

All children have moody days. What matters more is the duration, intensity, and impact of their low mood. A feeling of sadness that lasts for more than two weeks, begins to interfere with daily life, or feels unshakable, deserves closer attention. 

• Persistent sadness, tearfulness, or a general emotional flatness. 

• A noticeable loss of interest in things they once enjoyed. 

• Frequent headaches, stomach aches, or complaints of fatigue without a clear physical cause. 

• Significant changes in sleep patterns, such as sleeping too much or struggling to fall asleep. 

• Changes in appetite, either eating far more or far less than usual. 

• A withdrawal from friends or family members. 

• Irritability or anger that seems disproportionate to the situation. 

Any one of these signs for a day or two can be normal. However, a cluster of these symptoms that lasts and grows stronger signals a need to explore further. 

Create Gentle Openings for Conversation 

Instead of asking direct questions like, ‘Are you sad?’, which can feel confronting for a child, you can try using softer, more creative invitations to talk. 

• ‘How has your heart been feeling lately?’ 

• ‘Was there a moment today that felt particularly hard?’ 

• ‘If your mood was a colour today, what colour would it be?’ 

These non-judgmental questions can often draw out feelings that more direct questions might shut down. 

Trust Your Parental Intuition 

You know your child’s rhythms and temperament better than anyone. If something feels ‘off’ to you, it is important to trust that instinct. You do not need definitive proof to start paying closer attention. It can be helpful to keep some private notes on what you notice over a week or two, including their energy levels, appetite, social interactions, and emotional triggers. These observations can be invaluable if you later decide to seek professional guidance. 

Knowing When to Seek Extra Help 

It is time to consider professional support from a counsellor, GP, or school psychologist if you notice the following signs. 

• A low mood that lasts for more than two or three weeks. 

• A significant withdrawal from loved ones or a complete loss of interest in play. 

• Your child begins to talk about feelings of hopelessness, excessive self-blame, or worthlessness. 

• A noticeable decline in their school performance or a persistent avoidance of social situations. 

If your child ever mentions wanting to harm themselves, it is crucial to take it seriously. Remain calm, stay close to them, and seek immediate help from a trusted health professional or an emergency service. Your love and presence are powerful, but professional support ensures safety and healing. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, emotional struggle is not seen as a flaw of faith, but rather as a part of the human condition. Even the prophets faced moments of deep sadness, yet they consistently turned their hearts to Allah Almighty in their times of heaviness. Teaching your child that emotional pain has a valid space within their faith can help to reduce feelings of shame and replace isolation with trust. 

The Honour in Seeking Help and Expressing Grief 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yusuf (12), Verse 86: 

‘ (Prophet Yaqoob (AS)) replied: “I am only complaining to Allah (Almighty) of my anguish and heartache; and I have been made aware from Allah (Almighty) of matters that you do not know”.‘ 

This verse captures the profound grief of Prophet Ya’qub (Jacob) when he was separated from his son. It reminds us that expressing our sadness, even deeply, is a part of faith, not a lack of it. You can tell your child, ‘Even the prophets of Allah felt sad sometimes. Allah understands the hearts that hurt.’ This helps to normalise their emotional struggle and makes turning to Allah a source of healing, not of guilt. 

The Importance of Healing Through Connection 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 224, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believers, in their mutual kindness, compassion, and sympathy, are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds with wakefulness and fever.’ 

This teaching shows us that no one should have to suffer alone. Seeking help, whether from family, the wider community, or trained professionals, is a reflection of this principle of mutual compassion. You can encourage your child to see the act of asking for help as a sign of courage and faith, not of weakness. By observing your child with compassion, responding with gentleness, and turning to your faith for strength, you help them to understand that sadness is not a secret to be hidden, but a signal to receive care, both from people and from the Most Merciful Himself.