How can I teach “worry time” so anxiety doesn’t run the day? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child worries about everything, from what might happen at school to who they will sit with at lunchtime, those anxious thoughts can quickly fill their entire day. You may find yourself answering an endless stream of ‘what if’ questions, each one giving rise to the next. It is an exhausting cycle for both of you. 

What your child truly needs is a container for their worries, not constant reassurance. The practice of scheduling a ‘worry time’ helps them to understand that anxious thoughts do not require immediate attention every moment of the day. It shows them that they can give their worries a voice, but also a boundary. This technique does not ignore anxiety; it gives it a healthy and manageable structure. 

Explain the Concept in Simple Terms 

Begin with a clear, child-friendly explanation of the idea. You could say, ‘Your worry brain likes to talk all day long. We are going to teach it when to talk and when it needs to rest.’ Explain that every day will have a special, short time set aside for you to sit together and talk about their fears. 

Choose a Set Time and Place 

Pick a consistent 10 to 15-minute slot for your ‘worry time’. It is best to choose a time that is not right before bedtime; after school or before dinner often works well. Use the same calm, comfortable spot each day. This consistency signals to the brain that there is a designated time and place to deal with worry, which helps to prevent it from spilling into the entire day. 

Create a ‘Worry Jar’ or Notebook 

Throughout the day, when a worry appears, you can say, ‘That is a good one for our worry time. Let us write it down and put it in the jar for later.’ This act teaches your child to delay their response to the worry rather than trying to suppress the feeling. The physical act of writing the worry down can itself begin to calm the mind. 

Hold ‘Worry Time’ Calmly and Briefly 

When the scheduled time arrives, you can go through the list of worries together. For each one, you might ask questions to help them process it. 

• ‘Is this something we can try to fix, or is it something we can leave to Allah?’ 

• ‘Has this worry changed or become smaller since you first wrote it down?’ 

Some worries fade naturally over time, while others can be addressed through collaborative problem-solving. 

Gently Redirect Worries Outside of the Set Time 

When an anxious thought appears at other times of the day, respond gently but firmly: ‘That sounds like one for our worry time later. Let us save it for then.’ The goal is to show them that the thought can wait. This practice teaches patience, self-control, and emotional boundaries. 

Spiritual Insight 

Containing Fear Through Trust in Divine Balance 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).‘ 

This verse beautifully reflects the heart of the ‘worry time’ concept. Just as hardship and ease are paired together, worry and calm can also coexist. One does not need to erase the other, but they can take their proper turns. Teaching your child to give time to their worry and then time to rest mirrors this divine rhythm of balance and relief. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Focus and Faith 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 79, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Be keen on what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not give up. If something befalls you, do not say, “If only I had done such and such,” but say, “Allah has decreed, and what He wills, He does.”’ 

This hadith captures the essence of managing anxiety in a faith-based way. It encourages us to focus on what we can control and to leave the rest to Allah Almighty. You can convey this message to your child by saying, ‘We do our best with the things we can, and what is left, we give to Allah.’ This teaches them that worry has its place, but so does surrender to a higher wisdom. 

When your child learns to pause a worry instead of chasing it, they are practising two core Islamic virtues: sabr (patience) and tawakkul (trust). Each postponed worry becomes a small act of belief, reinforcing the idea that peace is possible even without having perfect certainty about the future. 

Through your calm and structured approach, ‘worry time’ becomes more than just a routine; it becomes a spiritual practice. It teaches your child that while thoughts may come and go, the mercy and protection of Allah remain constant.