How do I stop thrown toys without turning it into a power contest? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few moments test a parent’s patience like watching their child hurl a toy across the room. Whether it is out of frustration, excitement, or a bid for attention, the impulse to shout, ‘Stop that right now!’ can feel irresistible. However, power struggles rarely teach self-control; they simply create winners and losers. Your goal is not to win, but to guide. Stopping your child from throwing toys calmly helps them to learn responsibility and respect without fear or shame. 

Understanding Why Toys Get Thrown 

Children throw toys for different reasons. Sometimes it is frustration (‘It is not working!’), sometimes it is curiosity (‘What happens if I throw it?’), and often it is a form of communication (‘Notice me!’). For toddlers and young children, throwing can be a natural experiment in power and cause-and-effect. In that moment, what they truly need is not punishment, but guidance on what to do instead. 

Responding Without a Power Struggle 

The sound of a toy crashing against a wall can trigger our own anger. It is important to pause and take one deep breath before you respond. Your calm presence communicates control not dominance, but composure. 

Avoid scolding your child from a distance. Instead, you can kneel down beside them, make gentle eye contact, and say firmly but kindly, ‘Toys are not for throwing. They can hurt people or break. Let us try again safely.’ Your tone here is crucial; it should be guiding, not shaming. 

You can also help your child to link their feelings with their behaviour by naming the emotion, not just the action. You could say, ‘You are feeling very upset because the tower fell down. That is frustrating, is it not?’ Naming their emotions helps children to feel understood, which lowers their defensiveness. 

If the toy is thrown again, you can remove it without a lecture. A calm and consistent follow-through teaches consequences without creating a conflict. Once the moment has passed, you can reconnect gently. A simple hug or a kind word ‘You calmed down and helped to tidy up. That was very kind’ reminds your child that your love remains steady, even after a correction. 

Spiritual Insight 

Every thrown toy is a test of self-control, for both the parent and the child. Each time you respond calmly, you are teaching that true power lies not in domination, but in understanding. 

Restraint as True Strength 

The Quran beautifully connects emotional restraint with the love of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

When you hold back your anger and choose to guide your child with patience, you are practising the same virtue that Allah Almighty praises. It is not a weakness to stay calm; it is a strength in its purest form. 

The Prophet’s ﷺExample of a Controlled Temperament 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ powerfully reframe calmness as a form of spiritual mastery. It acknowledges that feeling anger is natural, but choosing not to act upon it harshly is a sign of true strength and faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 129, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A person who controls his anger while being able to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with peace and faith on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

When your child throws a toy, your first impulse might be to shout or punish. Yet, this hadith reminds us that self-control is an act of worship. Holding your tone steady and speaking kindly yet firmly mirrors the prophetic way of handling chaos with dignity. 

Prophetic parenting was always grounded in mercy. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ corrected with calmness and compassion, never with humiliation. When you calmly remove a toy, explain the consequence, and then restore your connection, you are modelling that same balance: firm in your boundary, but gentle in your spirit. Through your restraint, your child experiences both authority and affection, and they learn that guidance is not about control, but about care.