How do I help siblings who are scared or annoyed during another child’s meltdown? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child has a meltdown, it can feel as though the entire household is thrown into chaos. Siblings often react with fear, frustration, or even anger. They might hide, shout ‘Stop it!’, or complain, ‘Why does he always get all the attention?’ These reactions are natural. A sibling’s world feels disrupted when noise, tension, and parental focus all shift away from them. However, when handled wisely, these moments can become valuable lessons in empathy, teamwork, and emotional safety for everyone. 

Understanding the Sibling’s Perspective 

A child’s meltdown can be unpredictable and sometimes frightening for their siblings. Loud crying or shouting can feel threatening, especially to younger children. Older siblings, meanwhile, may feel resentful, believing that the ‘difficult’ child is getting all the attention. Recognising these different feelings is the key to maintaining family harmony. Every child needs the reassurance that they are safe, seen, and loved, even in moments of chaos. 

Guiding the Siblings Step-by-Step 

Your first priority in this situation is to ensure the safety of all your children. Once the child having the meltdown is in a secure space, you can calmly say to the other siblings, ‘Your brother is feeling really upset right now. I am helping him to calm down. You are safe, and I will be with you in just a moment.’ 

It is important to offer reassurance without over-explaining. Children do not need a long, psychological explanation for their sibling’s behaviour; they just need to feel secure. Once the calm begins to return, you can say softly, ‘He is not angry at you; he is just feeling too many big emotions right now.’ 

Depending on their age, you can involve the siblings in helping to restore the calm. You could invite them to fetch a comfort item for their sibling or to hum quietly nearby. Giving them a role can reduce their sense of helplessness and teaches them compassion in action. 

After the storm has passed and everyone is calm, it is a good idea to spend a few minutes of one-on-one time with each sibling. Listen to their frustrations and validate their emotions. This helps to prevent any bitterness from building up and reassures them that your love is steady. 

Spiritual Insight 

When your home feels unsettled by one child’s meltdown, you can remind yourself that each test carries an opportunity for growth. Your patience and fairness become acts of jihad al-nafs striving for peace through restraint and mercy. 

Compassion Within the Family 

The Quran reminds us that maintaining peace within our family, which is our first ‘ummah’, is an act of worship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

When siblings are experiencing conflict or distress, guiding them back towards compassion is a reflection of this Quranic command. 

The Prophet’s ﷺGentle Example 

The spirit of the following hadith can be applied to our families; empathy means noticing another’s struggle and responding with care. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 112, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is not the one who eats his fill while his neighbour is hungry.’ 

Teaching siblings to comfort one another, to wait patiently, or to pray for a distressed brother or sister is a way of teaching them the Prophet’s ﷺ concern for the well-being of others. 

Over time, your children will remember not just the noise and the tears, but the warmth, the kind words, and the calmness that followed. Through your steady guidance, they will learn that faith is not only shown in our prayers, but also in the way that we love and protect one another during life’s smallest storms.