How do I teach repairing quietly without broadcasting it for praise?

Parenting Perspective

When a child makes a mistake, such as breaking a toy or hurting a sibling, their first instinct may be to fix it publicly in order to win back forgiveness or earn praise. However, the deeper lesson is to learn how to repair quietly, with sincerity and humility, not as a performance. True character shines when good is done without a spotlight. To teach this, you can begin by reframing the meaning of ‘fixing things’: it is not a stage for applause, but a moment of integrity. You can tell your child, ‘When we make something right, the best reward is knowing that we have brought back a sense of peace, not that someone saw us doing it.’

The Spirit of Quiet Repair

Start by modelling the behaviour yourself. If you spill something or forget to do an errand, fix it without making an announcement. Later, you can share softly, ‘I fixed my mistake because it felt like the right thing to do, not because I wanted anyone to thank me.’ This helps to connect the action to a sense of inner peace, rather than a need for recognition. When your child admits to a wrongdoing, encourage them to correct it calmly: apologising privately, cleaning up silently, or replacing what was broken without a grand speech.

You can teach them the difference between repairing and performing.

Repairing says, ‘I did something wrong, and I want to make things better.’

Performing says, ‘I want everyone to see that I am good again.’

You can role-play some examples. If they have broken a sibling’s pencil, you could ask, ‘What is the quiet way to fix this?’ Guide them towards replacing it secretly or leaving a kind note, rather than announcing, ‘Look, I bought you a new pencil!’

Nurturing a Feeling of Inner Satisfaction

After they have performed a quiet act of repair, you can reflect with them gently: ‘How did that feel?’ When they answer, ‘Good,’ you can respond, ‘That good feeling is your heart smiling. That is better than any applause.’ Reinforce the idea that Allah notices even the smallest of sincere efforts. When children realise that repairing quietly connects them directly to divine approval, the craving for human praise will slowly fade.

Spiritual Insight

Islam treasures sincerity (ikhlas) doing good purely for the sake of Allah as one of the highest virtues. Repairing quietly after a mistake is an act that reflects both repentance (tawbah) and sincerity. It teaches that our moral worth is not measured by who is watching us, but by Who is witnessing our actions.

The Honour of Hidden Good

The Quran highlights that while visible good deeds are still good, hidden good deeds carry a greater spiritual weight.

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 271:

‘If you disclose your charitable (donations publicly) then this can be a good (gesture, to encourage others to do the same); but if you keep it private and give it to the poor, then this is also infinitely better for you; and He (Allah Almighty) shall he raise some of your bad deeds from your (recorded register); and Allah (Almighty) is All Cognisant of everything that you do.’

You can tell your child, ‘When you fix something quietly, you are doing the kind of good that Allah loves even more the kind that is done for Him alone.’ This helps them to see that quiet correction is not a weakness, but a mark of strength and sincerity.

Repair as a Form of Repentance

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ beautifully link the act of repair to redemption.

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2499, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.’

You can explain to your child, ‘Everyone makes mistakes, but what makes you special is that you are fixing them sincerely, even if no one sees.’ This shows that a private act of repair is not about guilt, but about growth.

Encourage them to whisper a quiet dua: ‘O Allah, please help me to fix what I break, and forgive me when I do wrong.’ Over time, they will learn that doing right in secret is the most powerful kind of self-respect, because it does not depend on being noticed by anyone other than Allah.